Back in the 80′s, the “My Little Pony” franchise was aimed specifically at girls, both in toy lines and animated adventures. Flash forward to this space year 2012… And MLP is still deliberately marketed and designed with pre-teen girls in mind. Yet somehow, for reasons unknown, fat neckbeards have taken to the show like they do to Naruto and Final Fantasy.

In the face of well-deserved ridicule and mockery by the rest of the Internet at large, more and more sheltered young men are proclaiming themselves to be “Bronies,” admitting their love for the recent animated series spawned by the MLP franchise. I’m pretty sure the whole fad started off with goons ironically quoting it and putting down 5 dollars for pony avatars on the Something Awful forums, but I’ve heard people tell me it started off un-ironically on 4chan’s /co/. The fact of the matter is, it doesn’t really matter how or where it started: What’s important to note (for the purpose of this article) is that once Bronies made it to deviantART, we were all doomed to deal with some of the worst art to hit the web in a long time.

When I first stumbled upon RogueWarrior869′s profile on deviantART, my initial thought was “Finally! Someone else on dA with an appreciation for Richard ‘Demo Dick’ Marcinko: Perhaps the single most bad-assed bad-ass the world has ever known!” However, after browsing RogueWarrior869′s profile and gallery for nearly an hour, I couldn’t find a single mention of Mr. Marcinko anywhere! Instead of being assaulted by the M16-wielding “Sharkman of the Delta,” my eyes were assaulted by images of yaoi, yuri, and other assorted anime bullshit!

Needless to say, I was severely disappointed.

As something of an unofficial hype man for Mr. Marcinko, I found that it is my duty to protect his image. And what better way to do so by putting this unworthy, goddamn cock-breathed Commie motherfucker in her place? Trust me: You morons will love this.

We are currently in the process of moving to our new server. As such, a lot of shit is displaying as broken [or not displaying at all]. We’re figuring this out as we go along: We’ll get everything back to the way it was eventually.  The back-up we are running on is nearly a month old (Relative to the day before we went offline). As such, many comments / posts will most likely be missing; not only from our WordPress pages, but from the forum as well.

For an explanation of why the site went down, as well as updates on the restoration, please consult this thread.

For those of you who may have registered your forums account before the 10th of July – the date our most recent back-up was created – you will need to re-register your accounts. For those of you who have never registered an account on the METOKUR Forums, you should get on that shit already.

For some time now, people have been requesting a “spiritual successor” to our Designing Your deviantART Profile article, which was written in a mock “dA tutorial” format. In it, I walked readers through how to design an obnoxious profile similar to those of many other tartlets. In today’s article, I present to you another tutorial-esque piece, walking you through how to identify deviantART users with “fucked up fetishes,” from little more than a mere glance at their galleries or their favorites.

It is my hope that this checklist is formally adopted by some psychiatric institute, and used to diagnose individuals as what we in the industry like to refer to as “sick fucks.” Failing that, I am also content posting this on deviantART and hearing angry feedback from furries, voreaphiliacs, and other assorted sick fucks. If you know someone who may have what constitutes as a fucked up fetish, I urge you to send this checklist to them, and to let me know they respond to it. Remember, the first step in any rehabilitation / self-help program is admitting you have a problem: If they should deny that their fetish is an issue, it is simply denial in action.

We’ve written articles dealing with fetishism before. While some fetishes are inherently creepy and disgust us normal folk to our cores, some fetishes are harmless enough that we can all laugh at the expense of whoever admits to them. I contest that deviant Re-WrittenDreamer – the subject of today’s article – has a fetish belonging to the latter classification. After all; at it’s core, his fetish is all about making people laugh.

But before we get to that, we should get to know Wyatt better (Or – as he wishes the world would call him – “Dream”). Wyatt declares on his dA profile that he is 15 years old, a “total pokemon nerd” (Not a big enough fan to capitalize the “P” or accent the “é” though), and that he “freaking love[s] Scyther and Lugia.” In case you couldn’t guess, he is frequently made fun of at school, as he reveals in a deviation featuring his fursona.