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  Bloody Tears and Pretentious Smears
“What could blood art possibly be”, you may ask? Well, I figured it was quite self-explanatory, but since I’ve got an article to pad out here, I’ll indulge you just this once. Blood art is when an artist chooses to forgo paints and pencils and use their own blood (Or an external reserve) to paint their pieces. It almost seems tame compared to that aforementioned enema painting, doesn’t it? Perhaps the most popular figure to emerge from the blood art scene is Jack Crowley, the appropriately proclaimed “Blood Artist” (Who just recently uploaded his works to deviantART). For what it’s worth, Crowley’s art isn’t completely awful, despite consisting almost entirely of portrait pieces.
Today’s tartlet, however, seems to take major offense to Crowley’s work. Not because he finds the method disturbing, mind you; but because he doesn’t think Crowley’s got big enough balls. I-am-Orange-Socks claims that he is the first true blood artist, and that Crowley is nothing more than a coward and a hack. From his dA journal:
Them’s fightin’ words if I ever heard ‘em! Orange-Socks goes on in his entry to state his admiration for women who use their menstrual blood as their medium, that he is “certainly no emo,” and that he does not paint in this way for the attention. We’ll come back to this point later. But first, Orange-Socks was so kind as to provide a guide on how he collects his blood for his art, which should warrant a read.
Preparation by ~I-am-Orange-SocksIt starts the same way as oh-so-many crazy party nights, with a sharp knife, a jar of fresh water, and a handful of tissues. Orange-Socks stresses the health element in the description of this piece, warning against the use of powersaws to open wounds as if anybody could possibly be retarded enough to contemplate doing so, and using three exclamation marks to stress the importance of “always have fresh water!!!” He references a pre-drawn pencil piece off-screen that he “couldn’t be bothered to include” since it “has nothing to actually do with the bleeding.” Actually, wouldn’t it have everything to do with why you’re bleeding?
Scars of blood art by ~I-am-Orange-SocksNext, we move on to the all-important “showing off” part of the tutorial, in which Orange-Socks shows off his scars. You know, as bad-ass as having scars can look (Besides getting the ladies wet as the journal of Personality and Individual Differences claims), they’re decidedly less impressive when you know that their victim sculpted them him or herself. Orange-Socks is considering carving a spiders web or the iron cross into his skin so his own body can become “art.” Laughably enough, a paragraph later, he takes two steps back and advocates “cutting somewhere where it’s not too noticeable,” indicating that “most people tend to think you’re suicidal if they see what you’re doing.” You heard that, folks? The next time you see some lanky kid dressed in all black with hair in front of his eyes and scars on his wrists, ask him if he’s into blood art before you start drawing conclusions!
First cuts, and applying by ~I-am-Orange-SocksWe finally reach the “open wound” section of the tutorial, in which Orange-Socks instructs his readers on how to open a wound and get the blood flowi- Hold on just a moment folks. I’m being told that posting images of self-harm in progress are against deviantART’s code of conduct? And apparently, instructing potential kids on how to cut themselves is dangerously reckless and stupid? Who would have guessed!? Apparently, not Orange-Socks, as commenters on the piece had to step in to explain the obvious to him, as well as to attempt to discourage him from his line of stupidity. Over a series of 4 more photos (1, 2, 3, 4), Orange-Socks documents how to apply your newly liberated blood to a decidedly boring sketch of a river. 3 to 4 layers should do the trick nicely, apparently. Shove it, proper paint! As a bonus he includes a photo of himself modeling an oddly non-orange sock and showing off his scars again, before explaining how to clean up after your mess. The latter “Clean up and finish” submission includes a rather entertaining quote which falls squarely under the “Geez, you think?” category.
With that amusing glimpse into his disintegrating social life, the tutorial is complete. And we should theoretically be better artists for it I suppose? To be fair to dA here, the general user populace is bright enough to never try anything this stupid and dangerous (Though just barely bright enough to remember to breath), and it’s doubtful this tutorial will ever end up being used by anyone as anything more than laugh or shock material. So, for all this trouble and claiming that he manages to top the likes of Crowley, what art does Orange-Socks have to show for his suffering? 3 pieces, as of this moment in time. Actually, it’s more like 2 and 1/2, and here they are!
Freedom’s vice by ~I-am-Orange-Socks
First up is this decidedly disappointing display! This is what all the fuss is about? Orange-Socks can’t even paint between the lines for crissakes! Is he woozy from the blood loss when he paints or what? Other than the fact it amounts to little more than a child’s doodle of a skull and ornate hat, could he possibly have chosen a more generic concept to express? Surprise surprise folks: He’s anti-government! Just like every other pimple-faced teenage shitheel with a Green Day t-shirt and no real-world experience with the horrors of a world without government. As if it that all wasn’t enough, he even uploaded a second take of this picture with some extra charcoal fuckery for good measure.
Virgin tears w charcoal by ~I-am-Orange-SocksAn oversized poorly detailed eye crying blood? This is as bland as bland can be, folks. This is the very bottom of the barrel concept-wise. The fact the blood in the piece is actual blood adds NOTHING to it, other than poor filling effect and a rusty smell! This is where the whole blood art concept falls apart: Blood was never intended as some kind of alternative to proper paint. Blood is intended to circulate nutrients and oxygen throughout a body, not constrast charcoal in some kindergarten-grade sketchbook page. Which brings us back to the topic of what blood art is good for, and why anyone would choose to use it as a medium. Let’s let Jack Crowley sum it up, shall we?
What’s that? It’s all for shock value? Well, isn’t that a shocker in itself! The fact of the matter is, blood isn’t as reliable or efficient as red paint, and I’ll be damned if you can paint anything other than shades of red and brown with it without mixing in proper coloring or dye. It’s a bid for attention, which is fine if you’re willing to admit it, but just makes you look like a pretentious shit-eating smug fuck when you repeatedly claim it’s about “expression.” And let me tell you folks: You’ll be hard-pressed to dig up anything more pretentious and smug than lines like this, taken from that previously quoted first journal entry by Orange-Socks:
It’s reaffirming to know that behind the desperate pleas for attention which he claims to be anything but, and underneath all the scars, there’s a genuine fucking waste of a human being beneath it all. Overly dramatic, hilariously defensive, laughably arrogant, and thoroughly untalented. In short, utterly worthless for little more than our own entertainment. Though, it’s a bit sad when the best thing that could possibly happen for a kid like this is for him to accidentally open up an artery, wake up in a hospital, and be forced to get the help he’s deluded himself into believing he doesn’t need. 618 Responses to “Bloody Tears and Pretentious Smears”Leave a Reply |
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The real first blood artist was KISS.
A friend of mine collects their mestrual blood and tries to sell it as paint. Not sure how successful that endeavour was, but I suppose if you can find a buyer it’s a highly lucrative trade – you have an infinite supply.
A totally unredeemable human being. No doubt they will be here soon calling us all worthless and “jealous”
How ironic.
What a complete arrogant, stuck up, opinionated waste of humanity..
Wow, seriously?
“Blood art”‘s been about since drawing began. They used animal blood as pigment in some very early paint and I’m sure some of the more dedicated artists often used their own blood.
So it’s not original to paint with blood at all. I guess you can consider it a lost art of sorts but really, it’s nothing special.
Lots of people on dA do it as well, and do it a LOT better than this guy.
Also, the minuscule amount of blood he uses in his art is not enough to make an impact at all.
And he wonders why people use blood acquired from butchers etc. Cutting isnt manly at all. Its what 12 year old girls do to look cool (…and people with actual mental issues but they wouldn’t be posting in online at all. They have sense.)
@cleo
Sage words. I’ve said that many times, if people cut themselves and show it, then its only for attension. If your doing it for a problem they hide it away. Thus is why todays example is a waste of space.
@Shenanigans
Precisely. In fact, people who actually have problems and do it wouldn’t even bring it up online or elsewhere at all.
But yes, you’ve hit the nail on the head there!
If this guy wasn’t such a narcissistic POS, I’d feel sorry for him. His parents must have really fucked him up, or didn’t care about him enough to send him to a hospital. That eye crying bloody tears is about the most cliche thing I’ve ever seen. What he does is nothing that spectacular or shocking, especially if you look at the scarification artists from African tribes.
Classic sign of the terrible “artist”: When the primary focus of their “work” is the sundry painting materials they use. It ranks right up there with: “I don’t care if it’s not anatomically correct – it’s my STYLE”.
I just hope nathan is taking notes. Real weregrinches self-inflict.
There’s no way i’m doing THAT.
@nathan Son I am disappoint.
I’m not your son, and you’re not John Candy’s ghost.
Hey, thanks for the free publicity.
Yes, this is orange socks.
Well, since you all seem so welcome to insult/mock/abuse me. I figured I would at least have a say, especially since it’s about me.
Oh, wait. This is a biased piece of shit. So anything I say will be pounced upon, judged some more by some wannabe artist losers who think that having a short black is expressive of their loneliness and melancholy that they themselves are unable to express and so blame others for their inadequacies.
People kept asking me how I went about creating the pieces (Just so you know, the two pieces that you did show were not intended as anything “spectacular”. I created those in 5 minutes, they are experiments to see how blood looks with varying levels of charcoal. Oddly enough, you conveniently didn’t show the one piece of blood art that I actually put time and effort into. But that’s okay you prejudiced, biased piece of shit because I’m a “pretentious shit-eating smug fuck” who has nothing better to do with my time than read posts discussing me and why I don’t deserve to live.) so I decided to just write down how I did it, and if somebody else decides to do some blood art at least I’ve given them some information so they don’t get sick. You honestly thought I was serious about the fucking powersaw! How fucking stupid are you people? You take everything I say, swing it around and have a go at me because you feel you need to satisfy your own sadistic tendencies.
“Ornate hat”? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Sick of wasting my time with people like you. Act like spoiled children, and whine because somebody has done something that you haven’t. Say that I’m a “genuine fucking waste of a human”, well I’m not the one talking shit about other people, unlike you judgemental, prejudiced pieces of shit.
@Orange Cocks
First of all. I’m not a wanna be artist.
Second of all, I looked in your gallery and I cant see this so called time and effort. I see more pieces like those two with a little more black.
Also, if your so sick of wasting your time with people who don’t pussyfoot about and lick your arse I think its time you got off the internet. Hell, you wanna make it in the art world at all you need to me a fucking adult and take it like a man. All criticism.
Real life art critics are gunna rip you to shreds if are having a fit over a site like this. They’ll chew you up and spit you out.
Also. Use references in future. That eye doesnt look human at all. Where’s the eye lid? The lid crease should be where you’ve put the rather bushy caterpillar.
*I honest to goodness did NOT mean that typo.
But it made my day a little brighter.
@Orange Sock,
I looked at your other artworks. They suck, too. You have no understanding of realism, anatomy, or how to use certain mediums. Your charcoal pieces look smudged with fingers. Why the hell do you expect people to use a knife to cut themselves and paint with it like “real men”? You could easily get an infection from the blade or other bacteria. Don’t be so smug that you cut yourself. Your art is shit.
Mocking a kid who already self harms. This will end well I’m sure. :-”
@nathan f How do you know I’m not your father? Clean up your room or poppas gonna rape your ass.
@Anonymous
I was not talking to you Anonymous, I was talking to the so called “Ghost Of John Candy” who i’m pretty sure is no real ghost.
Wait you’re only pretty sure? Good to see your firm grip on reality hasn’t changed.
That’s right I am a real ghost. We get internet up here in heaven except there’s no porn. Stop fapping so much nathan and also MJ is in hell for touching all those children (not to mention jesus juice is a clear franchise infringement).
Also just because your family raped you, it’s still not okay that you have that autistic girl in your basement. Let her go nathan. The only peda-asses we allow up here are Catholic!
“nothing better to do with my time than read posts discussing me and why I don’t deserve to live.”
Well.. you did come here.
Secondly,
1 judged some more by some wannabe artist losers who think that having a short black is expressive of their loneliness and melancholy that they themselves are unable to express and so blame others for their inadequacies.”
2 How fucking stupid are you people?
3 you feel you need to satisfy your own sadistic tendencies.
4 What the fuck is wrong with you?
5 unlike you judgemental, prejudiced pieces of shit.
Sure is showing how these things don’t bother you, and how your a stable and functional person.
Also its an honour to have you with us Mr candy. I loved you as barf.
@Orange Sock
This is the most unbiased thing I’ve seen on the internet.
In fact, you’re the biased one. Trying to defend blood art just because you draw it.
@Shenanigans
True, I did come here. Heard about it, so I read what people say about me. I give my view on things.
If this did bother me, I wouldn’t post my work. This is not the first time someone’s disliked what I do, and is certainly not the last.
A stable and functional person? Sure seems to me like everyone else is unstable. I’m not hurting anyone, what I do is my business. Certainly people can comment and critisise, I have no objection to that. However, I would consider someone unstable if they have no problem insulting and mocking somebody else and their work. If you don’t like it, don’t bother commenting, or writing up this post to get back at me. Other people like what I do, those are the people I do it for.
@Cleo
I think you’re just being childish. You don’t like my work, simple. Is it really necessary to carry on like this? I sometimes wonder why people like you feel the need to disparage and mock others. I don’t intend to be an artist for a career or anything like that at all. Throwing a fit? I’ve had much worse than this thrown my way and none of it changes anything. Say what you have to say and move on.
Unstable? Just because we have a wereJohnCandy and a ye olde hunter?
So so biased.
Also orange socks carve like a ‘care bear’ onto yourself. Contradictions make great art.
Real men self castrate. Toughen up to speaking in a higher octave.
@Orange.
In that post you came off a decent person. See people arn’t so bad in the end, I think that’d be a good place to stop. Specially before the werecandy gets here.
@john candy
The hunters still with us?
@Ghost Of John Candy
How can you say that? That is not like the you I know from your movies. You were always so jolly and cheerful, you would never had anything bad to say about anyone – and no one ever said anything bad about you either. You should know me better, after all I worked with you on SCTV, I’m an old friend of yours, i saved your life once. I’m not a pedophile, i did not abduct Sarah and lock her in my closet.
This is not like you at all John, the John Candy i know and love is kindly, jolly and lovable – i finally get the chance to meet you, and this isn’t what i expected… I expected you to be lovable and down-to-earth like in your movies – but instead you come across as a total jerk on here.
I grew up watching your movies, and I still watch your movies – they’re classics, i’ve seen all of them.
If you should be mad at anyone don’t be mad at me or MJ, be mad at the guys in hollywood who right now are planning on “remaking” your classic film Uncle Buck but with Dan Fogler as your character.
Of course I know MJ was a pedophile – I’m in heaven, duh, and we know everything up here. For instance, I know you have masturbated 5347 times to my videos like uncle buck and your mother has walked in on you doing this 37 times.
One day nathan you will stop living this sad, pathetic lie that you are a weregrinch. You will man up (cutting yourself will help this), face you problems and accept that you are in fact a wereJohnCandy.
What’s the matter nathan, Dan Fogler not sexy enough for you?
@Ghost of John Candy
I wasn’t masturbating to them i swear. It’s not a lie, i am a weregrinch. I will never be a werejohncandy. I especially don’t want to be YOU now that you’ve finally shown up here.
You’re not the same JC I remember, the JC I know was a gentle giant – you on the other hand are cruel, bitter, evil, and heartless. You’re not the JC I know and love.
I’m not going to cut myself for YOU.
I mean the way you’re behaving on here isn’t like the real you at all.
orange socks if you don’t stop cutting yourself you will end up like nathan f.
There, that should’ve scared some sense into him.
@Ghost Of John Candy
No, it’s that Dan Fogler is not good enough to be you or any of your characters – then again you’re not the real John Candy are you? You’re just the ghost of his evil twin brother. I can tell because of the goatee.
Nathan you never met me because you never worked at SCTV it’s some shitty lie you made up to stop thinking about the daily anal rapes you father gives you. You didn’t know the real me (when I was alive) you only became familiar (intimately … ew) with my representation on tv. You needed to believe that the jovial representation was real because you dad pounded your ass so hard. In truth, no-one, not me, not Jim Carrey, not even Jesus likes you because you’re a boring fat shut-in who annoys everyone!
Now let Sarah out of the basement and cut your wrists. You’ve got an eternity of pain to look forward to and it’d be good to get an early start.
@The Ghost Of John Candy
You monster. You’ve ruined my childhood. I’m never going to watch your movies again.
Now say that to the person you really want to say it to – your father, who rapes your anus daily.
@Ghost Of John Candy
No i’m saying that to YOU, you obese, disgusting, vile, repulsive despicable tub of lard. You’re the worst ghost i’ve ever met on here. You’re rude, evil, despicable, and cruel hearted. Not at all kindly or friendly. I grew up with your movies man, and they were all classics.
But now that you’ve finally had the nerve to show up, i’m disgusted. No offense you are/were a great actor and comedian, but the way you come across on here is making me think twice about you.
You were my fucking idol. I looked up to you.
Thanks a lot you obese, inconsiderate ogre of a man – i’m not going to watch any of your movies again.
Hi guys,
The spirit of Jim Carrey here. Ever since I bought the ouija board The Ghost of John Candy has been telling me about this sick loser nathan. I was thinking about making a movie based on him! But it’s hard to come up with a title
Yes manchild
Eternal sunshine of the fucked up mind
The number 23 is how many times nathan is raped every week
Fun with dick and Sarah
Me, myself and Sarah
LiarLiar 2
Fatman forever
Lemony Snicket’s a series of daily anal rapes
The Trumanchild show
Dumb & Dumber and totally fucked up
Autistic girls are easy
The sex and violence family hour 2
Which one should I use?
It’ll be a fun genre horror/comedy because when The Ghost of John Candy tells me was a fucking loser nathan is I just don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
@Spirit Of Jim Carrey
Ummm….Jim, you’re not dead yet – you’re still alive and well – and second of all i’m not a sick loser, and that was not the real ghost of john candy – that was just some person trying to be him. In truth, they could NEVER be John, as John is far too likable to be portrayed by an asshole like him.
No nathan it was the real John Candy. I’m not dead but that doesn’t stop my spirit from using the internet up in heaven (I never got internet myself, whenever I read ads like “are you happy with your ISP?” I laughed because my penis isn’t infinitesimally small – unlike nathan’s. Seriously, can Sarah even feel it when you rape her?)
Speaking of REALITY nathan you meant to say was “John is portrayed far too likable for me to accept he is an asshole, though he probably. Man my ass hurts, why doesn’t dad give it a rest?”
DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
John wouldn’t act like that at all. And for the record, the only time i’ve seen you in heaven was in Bruce Almighty. And i’m pretty sure you’re not the real Jim Carrey either. And i’m not a pedophile, i did not rape Sarah in anyway – don’t listen to what that phony “ghost” has to say. Everythinh they say about me on here isn’t true. And i you know you wouldn’t act like this either, you’re a wacky fun-loving guy, you can be serious too.
@Fake Nathan F
You’re not me.
I’m sorry nathan i’ll never be able to just disregard that you suck cocks.
Don’t worry I went back up to heaven again to kick out the nigger.
Nathan what’s the attraction to me? Just because I had seven fingers in Bruce Almighty doesn’t mean I can finger you better than poppa.
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
I do not suck cocks, i am not a pedophile or anything like that – everything they say about me is all lies. I like you because you’re funny, and a talented actor.
And the only reason you had 7 fingers is because Morgan Freeman aka God pulled that trick on you to freak the hell out of you. And it worked.
Plus you’re the reason i’m a weregrinch, in fact…i recall seeing you in your grinch form not too long ago.
I WANT JOHN CANDY INSIDE ME.
No I don’t. No i don’t. That was not me who said that, that was just another bad knock off sent by the father of all assholes mr Ezekiel Habermann.
You do realise that my Grinch movie was just pretend right? That makeup and special effects doesn’t make something real?
If grinches are real then so to must Bruce Almighty be real. In which case I am God.
How do you like them apples orange socks you little false god bitch?
I WANT JIM CARREY AND JOHN CANDY TO RAPE ME AT THE SAME TIME OOOOOOOOOH
Actually it wasn’t just pretend, coincidentally i spotted a grinch a couple of weeks ago – it looked like you.
And for the record, you’re not god Jim, that would be Bruce Campbell – speaking of which, there he is right behind you – holding his 12 gauge remmington shotgun and revving up his chainsaw arm.
Okay, I did not say that I want John or Jim to rape me at the same time, again, that was just Habermann being the total asshole that he is.
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
Actually I am the real god, you were just a stand-in for me.
Fuck dude I played Bruce Nolan not Bruce Campbell (in Bruce Almighty)! You call yourself a fan? You’re not fit to be my fan. I only allow fans who have been raped repeatedly from childhood IF they know my films back to front. So fuck off an worship some other comedian.
Also Bruce Campbell sucks. Dude can’t masturbate with that chainsaw arm. No wonder he keeps a undead walking blow job for a side kick.
“Okay, I did not say that I want John or Jim to rape me at the same time,”
So you want them to take turns?
HARDER DADDY HARDER IT FEELS GOOOOOOOOD
@Anoynmous
NO, and stay out of this you sick bastard.
Does getting raped in the anus make it hard to type nathan?
Wow. I like where this is going.
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
Listen up you primitive rubberfaced goon, I am the most badass actor in the entertainment industry. If it wasn’t for me, your movie The Majestic would have been a total dud. Because I single-handedly stole the show from you. Yep, that’s right I upstaged you.
@Anonymous
NO, and I’m not being raped in the anus. Unlike you and everyone else – who have obviously been raped in the anus by Habermann way too many times and his new gay lover Rents.
SARAH IS TRYING TO ESCAPE AGAIN! BAD SARAH BAD SARAH
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
If you think you’re better than me, Carrey – bring it on. Come on, show me what you’ve got. And don’t you even think about turning into some green guy with superhuman powers.
“NO, and I’m not being raped in the anus.”
Oh so daddy finished. How long does it usually last? I suppose it’s quantity not quality that matters.
@Fake me
This is your master, you have a malfunction, return to your cryogenic sleep chamber at once.
@Anonymous
Look, daddy did not rape me in the anus – you have clearly been raped though – by Habermann and Rents.
So I don’t get it. Is Nathan a fagot or not?
No i’m not a faggot, but clearly Habermann is, and so is Rents.
Well how am I supposed to trust you? I need a response from somebody else.
Hi i’m Bruce Campbell, and I can honestly say that Nathan F is no faggot. I can also honestly say that i am awesome.
MFPHFOFHFPFH IS WHAT I WOULD SAY IF I WEREN’T TYPING BECAUSE I’M EATING FORESTOR SAUSAGE!
AND NO SUCKING PENIS AND LIKING BUTTSEX DOES NOT MAKE ME A FAG
Okay that wasn’t me either, that was just Habermann producing another horrible clone of me – ah ha ha, Habermann very funny, now cut it out.
Oh, well hearing it from Bruce Campbell makes it so convincing. I just kind of figured with the ED article and the everybody complaining about him that he’d be a total fag.
Okay I never said i like sucking penis or buttsex, Habermann is screwing with my head again and he is going to pay for it.
Habermann is a mind fucker?
I WANT TO BE ONE.
@SuckMyGlock
Well of course hearing it from ME makes it so convincing – i’m like god. What I say is law.
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
Come on Jim, just because you’re more well known than I am doesn’t mean you can go around shooting your mouth off about me. After all i’ve slayed all lot of deadites and saved the world – all you’ve done is talk out of your ass.
DADDY’S FRIEND IS SCREWING MY HEAD (YUM!) AND HE PAID FOR IT (20$) WHY WON’T HABERMAN?
DADDY LIKE HABERMANN CUM
NO SARAH BACK IN THE BASEMENT IT’S NOT YOUR TURN!
No one is screwing my head, Habermann is just making you all think this. Don’t listen to him.
@Fake me
Go away you foul excuse for a clone.
I want this impostor banned immediately. The REAL Nathan F (which is me you dumb heteros) loves cock it is scrumdiddlyumptios in my mouth yum yum
Jim, do you really think you’re better than me?
No I am the real Nathan Forester, don ‘t believe a thing anyone of ED says about me – it’s all lies – it’s all Habermann’s fault.
WOULD ORANGE SOCKS BE INTERESTED IN MY BLEEDING ANUS?
That’s it, i’m ready to start kicking ass – starting with you – no one impersonates my friend and gets away with it. *revvs up his chainsaw arm, then cuts fake Nathan F in half*
You’re next Jim Carrey.
@ Fake Me
NO YOU’RE NOT YOU DUMB POOPYHEAD TROLL YOU ARE FAKE AND I LOVE COCK. I’M SO GAY, I PISS WINE SPRITZERS. EVERYTHING HABERMANN SAYS IS TRUE AND I WANT HIS COCK SO BAD FFFFFFFFFFFFF
I would never say anything like that…
Alright Jim, you’re next. Come get some.
@ Fake Me
Of course you wouldn’t because you are a troll and you are straight which I am not. You are a horrible impostor get off the internet.
No, YOU get off the internet – you’re the imposter here – not me. You’ll never be me, you’re the troll here and everybody here knows it. And by the way, Bruce just sliced you in half.
@nathan if Bruce Campbell is so good why aren’t you a wereBruceCampbell?
God damn, you’re not even a GOOD troll.
@Anonymous
Because if anyone tried to be me it would suck.
@Fake me
Neither are you.
@FakeMe
So you’re admitting you’re a troll?
You’re even worse than I thought! You know what, don’t just get off the internet. Do us ALL a favor and kill yourself you stupid piece of hetero trash.
@FakeMe
Ah ah ha, i’m not the troll – you are. And you’re are a bad clone of me, so you should be trying to kill YOURSELF – because i am the real Nathan Forester, you and all those other ones are just bad clones produced by Habermann.
DADDY I’M EXHAUSTED CAN’T YOU FUCK MUMMY FOR ONCE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HAVING ME WAS A HORRIBLE MISTAKE THAT SHOULD NEVER, EVER BE REPEATED?
You know what, you’re right.
I am a troll. And I can’t take this anymore because I’d hate to be a faggot like you.
@Fake Me
Stop laughing like you won or something. The only person who can win this is the one who likes cock more and THATS OBVIOUSLY ME.
@Fake Me 1
You know what, I think The Ghost Of Anna Nicole Smith could use some company – why don’t you use that freaky ouija board thingy and speak to her?
@Fake Me 2
Good, and by the way you suck at me being me.
DADDY IT’S REALLY HARD DOING TWO PEOPLE AT ONCE AND HAVING A CONVERSATION ON THE INTERNET WITH MULTIPLE CLONES CAN’T WE TAKE A BREAK? ALSO I LOVE IT WHEN YOU ROLE PLAY BRUCE CAMBPELL. MMMMMMMM
*shoots the fake Nathan F’s to smithereens*
Me: Phew.
@Fake Me number 3
oh great, where did you come out from, Habermann’s ass?
@ Bruce Campbell
I’m so happy you shot that straight douchebag. He was so cramping my almighty gayness.
@Fake Nathan F
No that wasn’t him, that was YOU.
@The Actual Fake Me
No, but his cock has been in my ass a lot of times lol.
I CAN’T BELIEVE I MISSPELLED BRUCE CAMPBELL I NEED TO BE PUNISHED HARDER DADDY HARDER
@Bruce Campbell
You tell him my bestest joy boy! I luv ur cock so much
@Fake Nathan 1
Actually you’re dead.
@Fake Nathan 2
I shot you, you’re dead – unless you’ve come back to life as one of the undead.
@Brucie Campbell <3
I love how you shoot them trolls.
I luv u babby :3
@Fake Nathan 3
You’re supposed to be dead.
@the real Nathan F
I’ll handle this..
*shoots actual Nathan and goes to have gay sex with fake Nathans*
I luv u guys and I luv habberman 2 <3
@Fake Nathan 4
Oh great, it’s you – you’ve risen from the grave as a deadite. Well i’ve got just the thing for you. *holds up his gun* Eat lead! *shoots him*
*and then has gay sex with the body*
@Bruce Campbell
Oh great, it’s Army Of Darkness all over again. Let me guess, you’re bad me, and i’m good me.
OH GOD THE FIRE IN MY LOINS!1!1
Well the REAL good me would luv me a good big nig dick, so i guess I’m the good me and i’m also the naughty me.
Whoever keeps impersonating me would you kindly cut it out? It’s not funny anymore.
Does anyone think that, like someone who wanted to dispose of a pile of dirt by digging a hole to put the dirt in, Nathan F just wants to bury the embarrassing pure comedy gold by making a tonne of new posts (though invariable creating new piles of embarrassing pure comedy gold)? Or is he a sad retarded fuck who doesn’t care what people say as long as they are talking to him?
@Bruce Campbell
Please, you’ll never be me.
All I want to do is suck daddy’s cock, and you guys are distracting me.
Because the real me is a terrible actor.
@Anonymous
Stay out of this okay.
@Fake me 5
You’ve got me all wrong – yet another failed attempt at cloning me by the sick manipulative evil criminal mastermind that is Ezekial Habermann.
@The Actual Fake Nathan
We ALL know that Nathan does nothing all day but suck cock.
Get off this website and off the internet.
OKAY EVERYBODY STOP.
I’M the REAL Nathan F. I’m SICK and TIRED of people CALLING ME STRAIGHT. GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEADS. I’M GAY.
@Bruce Campbell
Oh is that so? Well i’m so “terrible” how come i have such a big cult following and a whole fellowship of fans? Sure i’m no Tom Hanks – but i’m better than him – and all he does in movies is play an idiot. And sure i’m no Jim Carrey either, even though we do look a like – i’m stil better than he is. Like who else could have fought the army of the undead besides Ash, Ace Ventura? I don’t think so.
@Bruce Campbell
Nobody talks to my friend that way. And nobody does a horrible impersonation of me and gets away with it.
Well, I’m done arguing with my self. I’m going to go take a dick from habermann again.
Any Bruce Campbell posting from this point on is a fake.
@Bruce Campbell
Good, now leave.
^
|
|
Fake and probably straight lol
Yoo hoo, over here – i am the real Jim Carrey, the so called spirit that posted earlier was not me – that was Tony Clifton.
Oh Jimmy bby i missed ur cock
Wait a minute, you’re not Nathan.
Ugh, I so am. Brucie got all str8 on me and evry1 knos im teh gayest.
It’s like watching a soap opera.
Nope, that doesn’t sound like Nathan at all.
Wa’evur, i neeed mi buety slep so buh bye
Good night, don’t let the bed bugs bite.
@suckmyglock where nathan dropped the soap.
Hey nathan this is a topic about orange socks so either start cutting yourself or fuck-off.
@Nathan F
I know. And i’m not going to cut myself Anonymous, or should I call Anonanass because that’s what you are.
He’s got a point.
No he hasn’t, Anonymous has nothing.
Well, I’m not trying to take sides or anything, but the main topic of this whole article is about Orange Socks and his sick pleasures. I just really don’t see how it changed to fags and impersonators and all this crap.
Don’t blaim me, blame that asshole who claims to be John Candy’s ghost – oooh, scary – not.
I’m not trying to blame anyone. I’m just here to observe.
“Don’t blaim me, blame that asshole who claims to be John Candy’s ghost – oooh, scary – not.” lol you’ve cottoned on that it wasn’t real (at last).
Of course it wasn’t real, the real John Candy wouldn’t never acted like that at all.
Yes, you can tell a Ghost of John Candy is fake by what he writes.
Hi everyone I like puppies. Hey did anyone here work on my Canadian comedy skits?
Yeah I was the one that gave you the blowjob!
The blow job that saved my life?
No, it was the blowjob that gave me Syphilis.
Makes sense since madness is associated with syphilis and you’re clearly fucking insane.
So who gave me the life-saving blow job? I need to know before I can pass onto the next world woooo woooo
Ignore these cheap imtitations of me, apparently Habermann has nothing better to do than to mess with my head – he’s always doing this.
Nathan I’m The Real Ghost of John Candy. I like puppies.
Do you want me to show you your future? wooo wooooo
woooo woooo did anyone watch Beetlejuice?
I’m the Ghost with the Most … flab.
@Real Ghost Of John Candy
I’m not Ebenezer Scrooge and this is NOT A Christmas carol.
NO DADDY DON’T CRAP IN MY MOUTH AGAIN
I did NOT post that comment above, that was done by an imposter which is someone doing a cheap impersonation of me, which is to say that he is not the real me, i am the one, the only, master of science, the supernatural, and the obsurd, for I am….Nathan Forester which is what you should be addressing me as – as i am Nathan Forester.
obsurd – 1 definition – The way stupid people spell absurd.
OH NOES SARAH HAS ESCAPED!!!!!!!!
QUICK DAD INTO THE PANEL VAN! WE’LL HEAD NORTH BECAUSE AUTISTIC CHILDREN INSTINCTIVELY HEAD FOR WATER.
Enough with these bad impersonations of me already, i’m not a pedophile, i did not abduct Sarah and lock her in my closet- i did nothing to harm her whatsover and i would never have anyone like that.
Don’t believe a word Habermann said, Habermann is trying to mess with your heads and he’s screwing with mine – he is a cruel, sick manipulitve bastard – don’t listen to him.
Nathan, you are so easily trolled it’s just boring to watch now.
WHEW GOT SARAH BACK. IT’S A SCARY THOUGHT HER ALONE IN A WORLD FULL OF PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT TO RAPE HER.
Nathan you fucking idiot Habermann isn’t saying anything, it’s about a dozen other people who also come to the same obvious conclusion that you’re a retarded, autistic werejohncandy.
I PAINTED SARAH’S FACE WITH MAKEUP THEN DADDY PAINTED MINE WITH SPERM :3
What in the fuck is up with this, people pretending to be actors and pretending to be Nathan F., just to get his goat?
Clearly, Rents and Habermann are the culprits here, contrary to what Hbomberguy is saying.
@Andria
Congrats, you just noticed something that’s been happening for weeks now.
Do you really think every troll on this site is habermann? Nathan posts every couple minutes and double posts, that’s like inhumanly possible for one guy to keep up with.
Well I don’t think that Habermann has time to imitate Nathan, so I don’t think he’s behind all of this.
As for the actual subject of this article, I just can’t help but notice that Orange Socks only fills in part of his drawings with blood, and Jack Crowley makes full images using the blood of others which, if you ask me, is totally hardcore. I bet Jack is so cool. I want to visit him and listen to death metal all day. Maybe we can form a band… But anyways, the purpose of blood art is to create paintings with nothing but blood. Orange Socks uses charcoal, marker (based on what I’m seeing in the SOL skull) and various materials.
Another thing, if he doesn’t live in France or USA, why does he love the Statue so much?
HAI GUIZ
IM KIND OF A BIG DEAL
DAMMIT MY VAGINA IS LEAKING FLUIDS ALL OVER THE DAMN FLOOR. I HOPE NO ONE SLIPS AND FALLS ON IT.
i laughed at that first nathan f one.
That wasn’t really me in the above two posts with my name attached. Always insist on talking to the real me, not to Rents, Habermann or Hbomberguy using my name.
Don’t listen to another those so called other “me’s” are saying, that’s just that asshole Habermann messing with your mind like he did to me, he’s doing it on purpose too.
@H-bomberguy
Shut up, i’m not a werejohncandy – i’m a weregrinch, remember?
DADDY GAVE THE WHOLE FAMILY DIFFERENT COLORED LIPSTICK AND SAID HE’D SHOW US HOW TO MAKE A RAINBOW!
Don’t listen to that one, he’s not me – he’s a phony.
I’m really getting confused by this.
He’s Nathan, she’s Nathan, it’s Nathan,
WERE ALL NATHAN
*WE’RE
small mistake.
I know what this is, this is just a bad dream i’m having – this site isn’t real – there’s no such thing as Encyclopedia Dramatica.
I am NOT Nathan! STFU about that, please!
@Andria Kilgore
It’s alright, these assholes don’t know what they’re talking about, they wouldn’t know good art it if bit them where the sun don’t shine. Habermann isn’t any better, he’s the biggest asshole of them all.
Now suck my dick, bitch.
NATHAN! Why the hell do you want me to suck your dick? Or are you really Rents trying to troll me?
@Andria Kilgore
Nobody wants to be him. Or them. I don’t know.
Although I never considered that Nathan might be trying to fuck with all our heads and is saying that it’s habermann.
No Andria that’s Mr. Ezekiel Habermann who is messing with my mind again.
When are you coming to New Zealand because I want to hold you down and choke you while I fuck that ass that I own. Then I’m going to tell you to shut the fuck up while I slap your face and pull your hair for making noise.
*eyes glow yellow*
@”Nathan F.”: I know that’s not really you. STFU, Rents! Do you want me to notify your Internet service provider of your relentless sexual harassment of me, and maybe get Slapstick Anarchy taken off the web with NO archived pages available? Then STFU.
I WANT TO POUND ANDRIA’S FAT ASS!
@ fake nathan F STFU
@ Andria
That wasn’t me this is like some horrible dream. But just so you know, your herpes wouldn’t stop me I’d fuck that ass all the same. *eyes glow yellow*
@Fake Nathan F.: It’ll be a cold day in hell, with flying pigs abound, when you get to “pound my ass” or engage in unnatural sex acts with me. If that day comes, be prepared for a rusty rat trap in my vagina and IcyHot up my ass.
@Andria Kilgore
It’s me, the real Nathan. Don’t listen to all these phonies.
@Fake Nathan F
You heard her, lay one ice cold dead finger on her and i’m gonna all grinch on you.
Thank you very much, Nathan F.! BTW, tell Sarah hi for me, and that I’m doing all I can to protect her from these idiots inhabiting this site and others.
@Andria Kilgore
I will, it’s all in a days work for your friendly neighbourhood weregrinch.
Dance Puppets dance!
@Andria Okay Sarah says ‘hi’ and ‘can you loosen the handcuffs a little?’ It’s been days since I fed her.
I WANT TO GRINCH ALLOVER ANDRIA’S FACE.
@Fake Nathan F
Okay, you – OUT!
Outstanding! The fake Nathan is telling the fake Nathan to stop pretending to be him and then the fake Nathan tells them to shut up, and then the real Nathan tells all of them to stop, but then the fake Nathan tells everyone to stop.
WHICH IS THE REAL NATHAN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
“If that day comes, be prepared for a rusty rat trap in my vagina” still trying to catch that gerbil I see.
@Anonymous
You leave her alone.
Anyway she’s not trying to catch a gerbil in her vagina (that’s stuck in her ass). She’s trying to catch the rats in her house because the herpes makes her vagina smell like cheese.
@Fake Nathan F
I have no idea where you lot keep coming from, but you’re deffinately NOT me.
@Fake Nathan F
Anyway it wouldn’t matter if her vagina smelled like cheese I like eating nachos and dip.
ANDRIA SAID SHE WANTED TO HAVE PHONE SEX BUT I MISUNDERSTOOD AND NOW MY PHONE IS BROKEN.
@Fake Nathan F 1
I’m sorry, but you – OUT!
@Fake Nathan F 2
If you lay such as one finger on Andria i’m going to kick your ass from here to kingdom come.
ANDRIA WANTS FAKE NATHAN SANDWICH SEX!
@Fake Nathan F 3
Bad fake Nathan 3, stay in the cage.
@ Fake Nathan F
Get OUT right NOW!
And you know she can’t do anal until they find the gerbil.
OMG SARAH IS FAKE NATHAN 3! BACK IN THE CAGE SARAH!
@Andria Kilgore
Do not listen to any of these wierdos, i am the real Nathan. They’re just trying to get your goat. I’m the one you should trust.
@Andria Kilgore
Yes Andria trust me with your goat. I promise not to fuck it too hard. It’s bad for the milk.
@Fake Nathan 4
No, leave her alone you sick bastard, you’re not me and you never will be.
@Fake Nathan 5
Sorry, but you can’t have her – she’s already married. SO ha, you lose.
Can you all believe that I’m actually finding this shit to be funny? I guess that’s what drinking a gallon jug of white zinfandel will do to a person.
@Andria Kilgore
Yes it is kind of funny except when it’s me they’re making fun of – i mean none of these bozos is anything like me at all.
Wait the goat is married or Andria is? Or is Andria married to the goat?
@Anonymous
Andria, you fucking moron.
So Andria how did you meet your hubby? And did he give you the clap or did you give it to him?
CAN YOU BELIEVE ’1 KID FOR SALE’ JUST MEANT THEY WERE SELLING A GOAT? TALK ABOUT DISSAPOINTING!
@Fake Nathan 6
Look if you want to impersonate me, at least do it right – i am not a pedophile. Do you understand?
@Andria Kilgore
Don’t listen to these bozos. And also if that asshole who claims to be John Candy’s ghost comes on here – do not listen to him, the things he said to me were rude, profane and rather unjohncandy-like.
@Ghost Of John Candy
Listen, you are not the real ghost of john candy, john would never say anything like the things you said to me, you are just some troll trying to piss me off – well guess what it worked.
THE GHOST ON JOHN CANDY KEEPS SPELLING OUT ‘FAG’ ON MY OUIJA BOARD!
To everyone wanting to know about how I met my husband: Shut the fuck up. I’m not going to answer personal questions like that on a complaint website inhabited largely by trolls.
I’m out of here for the night.
@The Ghost Of John Candy
Ah ha, there you are you pesky ghostie. *equips his proton pack, points it at the ghost, then fires at it, then captures it in his ghost trap* Gotcha!
Sorry about that , folks. That rude ghost is always trying to escape.
Sweet dreams Andria. Fantasize about John Candy when you have sex, I always do.
@Fake Nathan 7
Yes, shame on you.
@Andria Killgore
I’m right behind you.
@Fake Nathan 8
Shut up. I do NOT fantasise about JC while having sex. You know nothing about me, you’re not even a very good me.
“I’m right behind you.”
Creepiest thing you’ve read, right Andria?
If you’re going to impersonate me at least do it right! It’s either MJ or Bruce Campbell.
@Anonymous
Oh that is IT, I have had it with you and your big fat mouth.
@Fake Nathan 9
I’ve had it with you as well. You’re not me, you never will be – so why don’t you, and Fake Nathans 1-8 just pack your bags and get out of here?
@ Fake Nathan 3
Just shut up it’s not even funny anymore.
OH NOES I’VE LOST COUNT!
@ Fake Nathan 6
Just shut UP.
@ Everyone
Check out my blog to see the episode I wrote for Law and Order SVU. I hope they pick it up and Bruce Campbell plays me – I mean, the fictional pedo.
I am the real Nathan here, this losers are just bizzaro clones created by Habermann.
No, I am Spartacus!
No, I am Spartacus!
NO, I AM SPARTACUS!
GET OUT
No, I AM HAVING INTERCOURSE WITH A MAN!
Okay whoever is impersonating me would you kindly please stop, it’s getting on my last nerve.
nathan: didn’t you say on your gay blog that you were done posting on here? fuck off already nigger.
Yeah, but my blog isn’t gay, Anon. And it’s not fair, how come your avatar gets sunglasesss?
Anon, using racial slurs is totally unacceptable. Shame on you. Now go sit in the corner.
@Anon
Yes, you should know better than to use racial slurs. I’m sure you’re familar with the Michael Richards at the Laugh Factory fiasco.
Lol, these people are hilarious. People were doing blood art before the internet was fucking around, including that weird ass broad that would take scrolls and shove them up her bleeding axe wound and then slowly pull it out. And you got that little 17 year old talking about he’s a man and he cuts himself. Well, until you have your cervix contracting (what happens on your period is the same thing that happens when you’re in labor, just not as bad) you got nothing to fucking talk about you little shit. Go suck your thumb you emo cunt.
There blood artists before you were WAS BORN.
ANDRIA LIKES NIGGER DICK!!!!!
@Fake Nathan F.: You’re wrong. Now go sit in the corner and finish your humble pie.
ANDRIA LIKES ANY COLORED DICK!!!!!!!! EVEN HER HUSBAND’S SPOTTED DICK!!
@Fake Nathan 10
Go back to wence you came.
@Fake Nathan 11
Don’t you dare touch her.
@Andria Kilgore
Ignore those pathetic losers – they’re just a bunch of pathetic wannabes.
To every fake Nathan F. here, watch it. I just might be doing some Bobbittizing!
“Don’t you dare touch her.”
I know, I don’t dare touch her, even wearing 3 condoms. She has that many stds. Not to mention the rat trap and gerbil in there.
I’ll just watch her doing it with her goat. Can’t tell which is more hairy though.
“I just might be doing some Bobbittizing!”
Why are you going to cut off your husband’s penis? Is he trolling you here too?
@Andria Can you buy some milk too when you get your valtrex? What’s for dinner?
“I just might be doing some Bobbittizing!”
Andria that’s not what I meant when I said I wanted spotted dick for dinner. It’s a British dish for god’s sake!
Alright fake nathan 12-14, OUT!
And Andria I fixed my phone do you want to try phone sex again? Not video calling because your face is uglier than Bruce Campbell’s anus!
Seriously fake Nathan 69 stop it you’re making harder for me to make sexual advances on my imaginary girlfriend on the internet!
@Andria Kilgore
Ignore these losers, i am the real and origin Nathan F – these guys are just bad knock-offs.
So Andria, is Nathan your backup plan in case your current marriage goes kaput?
@Anonymous: Yes, assuming I can get a visa to go to New Zealand and/or get Kiwi citizenship by marrying Nathan.
Thanks for clearing that up! So I guess you know his true age then?
Maybe you should post a few “@Fake Andria Kilgore My marriage is fine” in case your hubby reads the thread though.
@anonymous: My husband can’t tell a computer from a TV set and video-game system, so we don’t have to worry about that. Nathan is 39, btw, he had a birthday a few months back.
So have you and Nathan discussed the future much?
How idiotic. These stupid kids no nothing about real blood art. Slicing away at your skin and tossing it on paper is not art. Self-infiction is in no way appealing.
@anonymous: Somewhat. Next time my husband fucks a prostitute, has a cocaine overdose, mistakes poison hemlock for celery or falls off a footbridge into alligator-infested waters after drinking a liter of whiskey, I’ll move into a van down by the river with a generator, a laptop with wireless card and lots of booze, then plan to move to New Zealand
@Andria Have you had a video conversation with nathan yet?
@anonymous: Soon, if I can ever figure out Skype or my webcam. An IQ of 85 with heavy alcohol, energy drink and No-Doze use will do that to you.
@Andria Kilgore
Hang on, were you being serious when you said that you plan on marrying me?
@Nathan F: Of course I was! Don’t you love me too, Nathan?
@Fake Andria Kilgore: STFU or find another username, okay?
@Nathan F: Possibly, if my current relationship goes the way of the dodo bird.
@Real Andria Kilgore
I see. But you do know i’m a weregrinch, right?
I don’t love you anymore, Nathan. I love BlackBlueDawg now. You suck and you’re not a weregrinch, faker. I hope you cut your arms and make art out of green blood! Do it, do it for great justice and then I will love you again!
@Fake Andria Kilgore
You’re not the real Andria, you’re her evil counterpart – Airdna. I bet Habermann put you up to this.
She’s right Nathan. I don’t love you anymore either. For you see, I too am in love with BlackBlueDawg and me, him and Andria are going to have freaky orgies that you will not be invited to. Perhaps if you make some blood art, I too will love you again.
What can I say, bitches love my dick.
@Blackbluedawg
You’re not my friend Blackbluedawg.
@Suckmyglock
I don’t think so, the Andria that posted that comment must have been a fake – most likely it’s the work of that evil criminal mastermind Ezekekial Habermann.
Doesn’t matter. I still don’t love you =(
@Suckmyglock
I never loved you anyway, heck i don’t even know you.
There’s a difference.
You never loved anyone.
@Suckmyglock
That is untrue, I love and care for my friends and family. Unlike you, Habermann and everyone else on this website – all you do is bash people’s art no matter how good or bad it is.
Oh, good lord it’s not over. Siiigh, oh well.
I HAS ENERGIZER BATTERIES UP MY ASS SO I JUST KEEP GOING AND GOING AND GOING …
Wait a minute, that’s not me who said that.
THE BEING A WEREGRINCH VERSUS MARRYING ANDRIA IS A VERY DIFFICULT CHOICE. MY DAD ALWAYS SAID, “WITH GREAT RETARDEDNESS COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY” BEFORE RAPING MY FACE.
Okay that’s not me either, and my father never raped me. I have no idea why people on this site think that.
ALVIN GREENE HAS INSPIRED ME TO ENTER POLITICS! IF I WERE AS SMART AND ELOQUENT AS HIM THEN I COULD HAVE ED REMOVED! EQUAL MARRIAGE RIGHTS FOR WEREGRINCHES!
I am very much interested in Alvin Greene’s voting record and long nigger dick.
Okay I didn’t say that and Andria you should be ashamed of yourself! His voting record isn’t substantial at all.
I don’t know why people think my family raped me I guess they found the pictures my daddy posts online. But honest, he does it less now and he says he still loves me.
Okay I KNOW that it deffinately was NOT me who said that and I know it deffinately was NOT Andria who posted that Alvin Greene comment. I’d just like to put one thing straight, I am the REAL Nathan F – not these lo-hoo-se-rrs.
Orange socks you should make an activity sheet for Primary school students:
Blood Art
Things you will need:
a paintbrush
a scalpel
manliness to endure the pain
How to create wonderful blood art:
Using the scalpel (or another sharp implement) cut your skin until there is a good blood flow. Dip your brush into the blood and then paint. Remember not to do too many paintings or you will pass out.
Show your paintings to your parents and teachers. They will like them so much they will ask you to show them to them to Psychiatrists and welfare personnel.
Hey nathan since they keep impersonating you why don’t you post under a different name? Like ‘faggot’?
OK good idea.
Okay I KNOW that it deffinately was NOT me I am the REAL faggot – me, Nathan F – not these lo-hoo-se-rrs.
@Anonymous
How about you use a different username yourself, like for example “Asshole”?
@Faggot
Okay, i never agreed to have my name changed to faggot – i’m not some sex crazed maniac – that’s just what Habermann wants people on here to think.
I’m always so sore – people are always cumming and going.
Ok guys.
All these nathans are fakes.
i’m the real Nathan. And right now
I have one fucking hell of a grinch boner
GOG DAMN
@Fake Nathan F
What are you doing here?
@Nathan Forester’s Asshole
You can’t talk, you’re an ass. You would have to be like Jim Carrey in order to make your butt talk like that.
I’M GOING TO TAKE A DUMP IN DADDY’S MOUTH!
Okay I did not say that, that was other another bizzaro clone of me – ha ha very funny Nathan Manchild/Nathan Subhumanchild, very funny, you’re a real comedian you know that.
Nathan if anyone has mastery over their asshole muscles it’ll be you. Practice makes perfect.
I DIDN’T SAY IT I DID IT. DADDY LIKES CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKES! (WITH NUTS)
I HAS A BUTT PLUG!
@Anonymous
Actually that would be Jim Carrey and not even I can be him.
I’ve seen horrors… horrors that you’ve seen.
The horror… the horror…
@ My Asshole That’s it, butt plug time!
mmpmfmfmpmmmfmhhhhhh
I told you only Jim Carrey’s asshole can speak.
Okay all of you, pipe down.
It’s true you know. Not only can it talk but it wrote the script for The Cable Guy. God damn that movie sucked!
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
Yes I know, but it wasn’t that bad. Have you heard about those so called sequels to your movies that were done without you?
You mean the sequels to the homemade porn movies I made with your mum? Not only did I hear about them, I own them all! When she took on those five dwarves – HOT STUFF!
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
No not those – I mean Son Of The Mask, Ace Ventura Jr, Evan Almighty and Dumber and Dumberer.
Yeah those movies sucked. Evan Almighty definitely could’ve used some sex scenes with your mum. She could’ve taken all those animals two by two!
Except maybe the elephants. Your asshole is better equipped to take elephant cock.
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
For the record my mother never did have sex with you. And for the record i am not some sex crazed maniac. By the way, how did Steve Carell’s character swap jobs like that – i mean in the first film he was nothing more than a mere news anchorman who served as your antagonist but in Evan Almighty he became a goverment official, how on earth did he do that? I mean it must have taken a long time to recover from the hillarious humilation you put him through.
The answer is rather simple: just like your mum was a sweet house wife until I put her through hilarious sexual humiliation on tape (including memorable quotes such as these:
All righty, then. I have a package for you. In my pants!
Warning. Assholes are closer than they appear.
Excuse me. I’d like to “ass” you a few questions.
This will be over soon … or if it isn’t just wait longer.
Oh, my GOD! Nathan’s mum is a man!
)
afterwards she made her transition to the porn industry. Simple.
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
Actually those are just lines from the first Ace Ventura film – you just edited them to make them sound dirty. I know your movie lines off by heart.
And are you sure you’re really Jim Carrey?
Also Nathan F if you can’t understand how Steve Currel’s character made the job transition then it is pretty obvious you aren’t cut out to write, direct or even fetch coffee for any film. Sorry kiddo. People with mental impairments can’t make it in this biz. Unless they have great hooters. Like your mum.
OF COURSE I’M THE REAL JIM CARREY USING INTERNET FROM HEAVEN TO CONTACT YOU! WHAT PART OF THAT IS SO HARD TO BELIEVE?
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
I do understand, it came as a bonus of him becoming the new “Noah” type character – next to growing a beard and all those animals following him even at work. Of course it worked differently for you, you got God’s powers for a whole day – but in a way you do kind of abuse them, not that i’m complaining, you did a great job – it’s just that you used your powers mainly to get revenge – you could have at least found out how to use them to help the needy. But I gotta admit it was hillarious seeing you mess with Steve Carell making him do and say all those stupid things like that.
Although the deleted scenes on the DVD were pretty funny too, especially where you answer everyone’s prayers acting as sort of a literal genie.
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
Alrighty then. Then if you are the real Jim. Answer the following questions: 1. Which mythological god is the one mentioned in The Mask and what powers does he have? 2. What is the name of makeup artist who did your grinch makeup for How The Grinch Stole Christmas? 3. Where does the character Fingerling get his name from in the Number 23? 4. In Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events what is the one thing that Count Olaf wants from the Baudelaire orphans?
Have you ever thought of becoming a movie writer Nathan?
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
Believe it or not, I have. And i have written several scripts.
1. I don’t care that was years ago – I’m too important to google it.
2. There were several makeup artists.
3. Um I came up with the fingerling name after I was fingerling your mum.
4. All of their inheritance STOOOOOPID
I take back my writer question, you obviously don’t know what the important parts of the movie making business are.
Wrong-o. Sorry you lose. Well you get number 4 right you got the last 3 wrong.
The correct answers to questions 1-3 are:
1. Loki, the norse god of mischief and chaos. Anyone who wears the mask that is named after him gets turned into a green faced superhero.
2. Rick Baker.
3. The character Fingerling got his name from a children’s book titled Fingerling At The Zoo.
Sorry you lose, you’re not the real Jim. And I do know the important parts of the movie making industry are.
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
The only question you got right was number 4, you got 1-3 wrong. So therefore you’re not the real Jim. Nice try though. I’ll tell the real Jim Carrey you tried your best.
Sorry Nathan you just blew your only shot getting into the movie business. All the answers I gave were correct – the makeup magazines and DVD extras don’t show you everything. Rick and I had a falling out after he fucked your mum without paying so several makeup artists took over.
I can vouch for Jim’s authenticity.
MUMMY IS A CANTANKEROUS COCKSUCKING WHORE!!!
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
Actually i’m already in the movie buisness, i’m a producer, actor, and animator. Only answer number 4 was correct, 1-3 were incorrect. Sorry, but I know the real Jim, and you my friend aren’t the real Jim. You’re just like that guy who claimed to be John Candy’s ghost which he wasn’t. And Rick’s married for pete’s sake.
Okay my mother is not a whore, whoever said that is some bozo trying to be me.
@Ghost Of John Candy
I still don’t trust you after all those insensitive you said to me. For someone claiming to be John’s ghost, you act nothing like him – you come across as a jerk. And if I hear you say anything else bad about me i’ll call Dan Akyroyd and he’ll bust you.
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
I can honestly say that you’re not the real Jim Carrey. But nice try though.
That’s right, I am the real Jim Carrey.
The biggest liar out of all the sockpuppets is YOU, Nathan. You can’t draw, let alone animate. Your blog is filled with the shittest stories – you wouldn’t know what or how to produce. You’re not an actor – you’re that little fat kid so ashamed of your identity you posted a picture that used a morphing program with Johny Depp’s photo (resulting in transparent hair and bandanna). Don’t think people will fall for your shitty charade just because you fall so easily for the most retarded charades (a fucking ghost using the internet? are fucking kidding me???)
People hate you because you are a liar and retarded. Why do you continue to post here? 337 comments later (not including all the other threads) and people still think you’re just a fag.
And that’s never going to change.
@Anonymous
Fuck you. What the hell do you know? Absolutely nothing. I’m NOT some little fat kid ashamed of his identity, YOU however are just so ugly pimple-faced loser teen working at Burger King. You’re the liar here.
It’s not lies you fucking asswipe, it’s all true. And screw you, you know nothing. This whole website is full of the shittist “Critiques” I have ever ever heard.
Oooh look at me I’m Ezekiel Habermann i have no real life and no friends and all I do is insulting other people’s art.
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
Do you like music? Well let me sing you a little song. *sings* I like Jim, I know Jim, but there ain’t no way you’re ever gonna be Jim – but don’t be sad, because two out of three ain’t bad.
I AM BUTTHURT (BUT NOT LITERALLY FOR ONCE)
Okay enough with the impersonations already.
I’d like to sing you a song too but unfortunately no-one has written the song “fuck off you fat little faggot”.
@The Spirit Of Jim Carrey
I’m not falling for your gimmick, mr Fake Jim Carrey. The real Jim just showed up here – and he didn’t look too pleased with you.
C’mon Nathan let’s just leave. They obviously don’t appreciate your gifts for telling stories and drawing pictures and shooting ping pong balls from your anus.
I didn’t say you could speak.
Hi Nathan this is Jim. I am really impressed by your knowledge of my films golly gosh. I have a writers apprenticeship opening up (age doesn’t matter). What I do need is a video of you saying your favorite 3 Ace Ventura lines. I can’t stand writers who can’t act. Post it on youtube and link to it here. My secretary usually forwards my email but she is on leave so email doesn’t work for me.
The position closes next Monday so you should post it by Wednesday at the latest.
I don’t have time to answer any more questions I’m busy on several projects. I’ll check out the link on Wednesday. Also the previous comments were by false Jims (including the one that linked to my website!). You really should be careful what you read here.
@Jim Carrey
Oh my goodness it really is. And I knew that so called Spirit of you wasn’t the real you either, that was obviously Tony Clifton. You know, Andy Kaufmans old alterego.
@Jim Carrey
Wait, before you go there’s something i’d like to know. The other night i saw a grinch-like creature in the woods, it looked rather like you in How The Grinch Stole Christmas.
Was that grinch you or one of your relatives?
I can’t believe it’s actually Jim! I’m going to post my own video. I know more about comedy than Nathan and I can act better too.
i’d like to apply too but is it a prank? habbermann can you confirm the ip of the jim carrey is from america and is different from all those other trolls?
Hang on, if anyone’s going to prove their worthiness to Jim – it’s me.
Nathan there is no way you could impress Jim with your acting. Sorry. Not going to happen.
I’ll tell you what, if you post that video and Jim actually likes it I’ll never post here again.
Your mum is a whore. Get over it.
@miggy you suck.
Oh alright, bout YOUR mom is an even bigger whore than my mom supposedly is.
No-one could be a bigger whore than your mum – she makes Paris Hilton look like Mother Teresa.
You’re not going to post the video? So you’re a quiter too huh? Why don’t you quit posting on this website.
anonymous you suck.
Jim here is my email by the way” miggy23@hotmail.com
I’m not a quiter, i’ve got a plan. I’m going to turn myself INTO an exact copy Jim and then do that video – then post it. Something i’m sure you would never be able to pull off in a million years.
Anonymous, I already did that a few days ago, and at the same time made did it in more than a few different languages, English, itallian, romanian, spanish, german, russian, japanese, Na’vi, french, and hindi.
You really are a mental person aren’t you?
NO U I IS NOT MENTAL THEY PUT ME IN THE WHITE ROOM FOR VACATION
Golly gosh young people these days. When I was a budding comedian I’d take any opportunity offered by the horns but Nathan you can’t be bothered to make a simple video. Obviously you would make a lazy writer. I started reading some of your stories and they are truly awful.
I agree you must have a mental impairment. Miggi let me know if you didn’t get my email. This will be the last comment from the true Jim Carrey.
Dammit Jim, you evil, rubberfaced manipulative bastard – why do you put me up to this?
YES JIM YOU ARE VULGAR *TAKES DUMP IN DADDY’S MOUTH*
I HOPE I GET CANCER BECAUSE THEN THE MAKE A WISH FOUNDATION CAN ARRANGE FOR ME TO MEET JIM CARREY IN REAL LIFE SO I CAN HEAR IN PERSON THAT I’M TALENTLESS FAG!
I COULDN’T MAKE AN AUDITION VIDEO BECAUSE I’M A CONVICTED SEX OFFENDER. SORRY JIM!
@Fake Nathan F’s
I thought i had seen the last of you.
I really like this ‘Nathan F’ character. But remember (whoever is behind the real nathan f) to come up with other interesting characters. People get sick on a whiny fat retarded faggot pretty quickly.
And now, the Great Gatsby:
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry “Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!”
–THOMAS PARKE D’INVILLIERS
Chapter 1
In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.
“Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”
He didn’t say any more but we’ve always been unusually communicative in a reserved way, and I understood that he meant a great deal more than that. In consequence I’m inclined to reserve all judgments, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores. The abnormal mind is quick to detect and attach itself to this quality when it appears in a normal person, and so it came about that in college I was unjustly accused of being a politician, because I was privy to the secret griefs of wild, unknown men. Most of the confidences were unsought–frequently I have feigned sleep, preoccupation, or a hostile levity when I realized by some unmistakable sign that an intimate revelation was quivering on the horizon–for the intimate revelations of young men or at least the terms in which they express them are usually plagiaristic and marred by obvious suppressions. Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope. I am still a little afraid of missing something if I forget that, as my father snobbishly suggested, and I snobbishly repeat a sense of the fundamental decencies is parcelled out unequally at birth.
And, after boasting this way of my tolerance, I come to the admission that it has a limit. Conduct may be founded on the hard rock or the wet marshes but after a certain point I don’t care what it’s founded on. When I came back from the East last autumn I felt that I wanted the world to be in uniform and at a sort of moral attention forever; I wanted no more riotous excursions with privileged glimpses into the human heart. Only Gatsby, the man who gives his name to this book, was exempt from my reaction–Gatsby who represented everything for which I have an unaffected scorn. If personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures, then there was something gorgeous about him, some heightened sensitivity to the promises of life, as if he were related to one of those intricate machines that register earthquakes ten thousand miles away. This responsiveness had nothing to do with that flabby impressionability which is dignified under the name of the “creative temperament”–it was an extraordinary gift for hope, a romantic readiness such as I have never found in any other person and which it is not likely I shall ever find again. No–Gatsby turned out all right at the end; it is what preyed on Gatsby, what foul dust floated in the wake of his dreams that temporarily closed out my interest in the abortive sorrows and short-winded elations of men.
My family have been prominent, well-to-do people in this middle-western city for three generations. The Carraways are something of a clan and we have a tradition that we’re descended from the Dukes of Buccleuch, but the actual founder of my line was my grandfather’s brother who came here in fifty-one, sent a substitute to the Civil War and started the wholesale hardware business that my father carries on today.
I never saw this great-uncle but I’m supposed to look like him–with special reference to the rather hard-boiled painting that hangs in Father’s office. I graduated from New Haven in 1915, just a quarter of a century after my father, and a little later I participated in that delayed Teutonic migration known as the Great War. I enjoyed the counter-raid so thoroughly that I came back restless. Instead of being the warm center of the world the middle-west now seemed like the ragged edge of the universe–so I decided to go east and learn the bond business. Everybody I knew was in the bond business so I supposed it could support one more single man. All my aunts and uncles talked it over as if they were choosing a prep-school for me and finally said, “Why–ye-es” with very grave, hesitant faces. Father agreed to finance me for a year and after various delays I came east, permanently, I thought, in the spring of twenty-two.
The practical thing was to find rooms in the city but it was a warm season and I had just left a country of wide lawns and friendly trees, so when a young man at the office suggested that we take a house together in a commuting town it sounded like a great idea. He found the house, a weather beaten cardboard bungalow at eighty a month, but at the last minute the firm ordered him to Washington and I went out to the country alone. I had a dog, at least I had him for a few days until he ran away, and an old Dodge and a Finnish woman who made my bed and cooked breakfast and muttered Finnish wisdom to herself over the electric stove.
It was lonely for a day or so until one morning some man, more recently arrived than I, stopped me on the road.
“How do you get to West Egg village?” he asked helplessly.
I told him. And as I walked on I was lonely no longer. I was a guide, a pathfinder, an original settler. He had casually conferred on me the freedom of the neighborhood.
And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees–just as things grow in fast movies–I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.
There was so much to read for one thing and so much fine health to be pulled down out of the young breath-giving air. I bought a dozen volumes on banking and credit and investment securities and they stood on my shelf in red and gold like new money from the mint, promising to unfold the shining secrets that only Midas and Morgan and Maecenas knew. And I had the high intention of reading many other books besides. I was rather literary in college–one year I wrote a series of very solemn and obvious editorials for the “Yale News”–and now I was going to bring back all such things into my life and become again that most limited of all specialists, the “well-rounded man.” This isn’t just an epigram–life is much more successfully looked at from a single window, after all.
It was a matter of chance that I should have rented a house in one of the strangest communities in North America. It was on that slender riotous island which extends itself due east of New York and where there are, among other natural curiosities, two unusual formations of land. Twenty miles from the city a pair of enormous eggs, identical in contour and separated only by a courtesy bay, jut out into the most domesticated body of salt water in the Western Hemisphere, the great wet barnyard of Long Island Sound. They are not perfect ovals–like the egg in the Columbus story they are both crushed flat at the contact end–but their physical resemblance must be a source of perpetual confusion to the gulls that fly overhead. To the wingless a more arresting phenomenon is their dissimilarity in every particular except shape and size.
I lived at West Egg, the–well, the less fashionable of the two, though this is a most superficial tag to express the bizarre and not a little sinister contrast between them. My house was at the very tip of the egg, only fifty yards from the Sound, and squeezed between two huge places that rented for twelve or fifteen thousand a season. The one on my right was a colossal affair by any standard–it was a factual imitation of some Hôtel de Ville in Normandy, with a tower on one side, spanking new under a thin beard of raw ivy, and a marble swimming pool and more than forty acres of lawn and garden. It was Gatsby’s mansion. Or rather, as I didn’t know Mr. Gatsby it was a mansion inhabited by a gentleman of that name. My own house was an eye-sore, but it was a small eye-sore, and it had been overlooked, so I had a view of the water, a partial view of my neighbor’s lawn, and the consoling proximity of millionaires–all for eighty dollars a month.
Across the courtesy bay the white palaces of fashionable East Egg glittered along the water, and the history of the summer really begins on the evening I drove over there to have dinner with the Tom Buchanans. Daisy was my second cousin once removed and I’d known Tom in college. And just after the war I spent two days with them in Chicago.
Her husband, among various physical accomplishments, had been one of the most powerful ends that ever played football at New Haven–a national figure in a way, one of those men who reach such an acute limited excellence at twenty-one that everything afterward savors of anti-climax. His family were enormously wealthy–even in college his freedom with money was a matter for reproach–but now he’d left Chicago and come east in a fashion that rather took your breath away: for instance he’d brought down a string of polo ponies from Lake Forest. It was hard to realize that a man in my own generation was wealthy enough to do that.
Why they came east I don’t know. They had spent a year in France, for no particular reason, and then drifted here and there unrestfully wherever people played polo and were rich together. This was a permanent move, said Daisy over the telephone, but I didn’t believe it–I had no sight into Daisy’s heart but I felt that Tom would drift on forever seeking a little wistfully for the dramatic turbulence of some irrecoverable football game.
And so it happened that on a warm windy evening I drove over to East Egg to see two old friends whom I scarcely knew at all. Their house was even more elaborate than I expected, a cheerful red and white Georgian Colonial mansion overlooking the bay. The lawn started at the beach and ran toward the front door for a quarter of a mile, jumping over sun-dials and brick walks and burning gardens–finally when it reached the house drifting up the side in bright vines as though from the momentum of its run. The front was broken by a line of French windows, glowing now with reflected gold, and wide open to the warm windy afternoon, and Tom Buchanan in riding clothes was standing with his legs apart on the front porch.
He had changed since his New Haven years. Now he was a sturdy, straw haired man of thirty with a rather hard mouth and a supercilious manner. Two shining, arrogant eyes had established dominance over his face and gave him the appearance of always leaning aggressively forward. Not even the effeminate swank of his riding clothes could hide the enormous power of that body–he seemed to fill those glistening boots until he strained the top lacing and you could see a great pack of muscle shifting when his shoulder moved under his thin coat. It was a body capable of enormous leverage–a cruel body.
His speaking voice, a gruff husky tenor, added to the impression of fractiousness he conveyed. There was a touch of paternal contempt in it, even toward people he liked–and there were men at New Haven who had hated his guts.
“Now, don’t think my opinion on these matters is final,” he seemed to say, “just because I’m stronger and more of a man than you are.” We were in the same Senior Society, and while we were never intimate I always had the impression that he approved of me and wanted me to like him with some harsh, defiant wistfulness of his own.
We talked for a few minutes on the sunny porch.
“I’ve got a nice place here,” he said, his eyes flashing about restlessly.
Turning me around by one arm he moved a broad flat hand along the front vista, including in its sweep a sunken Italian garden, a half acre of deep pungent roses and a snub-nosed motor boat that bumped the tide off shore.
“It belonged to Demaine the oil man.” He turned me around again, politely and abruptly. “We’ll go inside.”
We walked through a high hallway into a bright rosy-colored space, fragilely bound into the house by French windows at either end. The windows were ajar and gleaming white against the fresh grass outside that seemed to grow a little way into the house. A breeze blew through the room, blew curtains in at one end and out the other like pale flags, twisting them up toward the frosted wedding cake of the ceiling–and then rippled over the wine-colored rug, making a shadow on it as wind does on the sea.
The only completely stationary object in the room was an enormous couch on which two young women were buoyed up as though upon an anchored balloon. They were both in white and their dresses were rippling and fluttering as if they had just been blown back in after a short flight around the house. I must have stood for a few moments listening to the whip and snap of the curtains and the groan of a picture on the wall. Then there was a boom as Tom Buchanan shut the rear windows and the caught wind died out about the room and the curtains and the rugs and the two young women ballooned slowly to the floor.
The younger of the two was a stranger to me. She was extended full length at her end of the divan, completely motionless and with her chin raised a little as if she were balancing something on it which was quite likely to fall. If she saw me out of the corner of her eyes she gave no hint of it–indeed, I was almost surprised into murmuring an apology for having disturbed her by coming in.
The other girl, Daisy, made an attempt to rise–she leaned slightly forward with a conscientious expression–then she laughed, an absurd, charming little laugh, and I laughed too and came forward into the room.
“I’m p-paralyzed with happiness.”
I DEMAND MILK AND COOKIES! SANTA RAPED ME AS A CHILD!
@The Ghost Of Andy Kaufman
Andy? Is that really you? I’ve got a couple of other characters – including The Grinchman, The Eccentric Scientist and of course my personal fave The Evil Genius.
Yes Nathan it is me. I impregnated your mother during an untelevised wrestling match. So I’m also your father. Why don’t you go ask her about it.
Perfect, my evil plan is coming to fruitation. Soon, I the evil genius will rule the world. Bwahahahaha!
That’s very good to hear boss.
@Ghost Of Andy Kaufman
Greetings Mr Kaufman, I am one of Nathan’s other characters – i am simply known as the Eccentric Scientist – not mad, not insane, just a tad eccentric.
Nathan does the best impression of someone with multiple personality disorder since me in Taxi.
Nathan how is your mum? Does she still have both male and female sex organs?
@Andy
She’s fine and she still has female sex organs, not male in case you wondering – i see you have met the Eccentric Scientist – have you met The Evil Genius and his henchman/grinch The Grinchman yet?
Your characters all suck nathan.
I LIKED MUMMY BETTER WHEN SHE HAD A PENIS!
@The Ghost Of Andy Kaufman
What did you say, you ungrateful excuse for a human?
Don’t listen to Andy, he’s just jealous of how talented you are – Nate.
@The Ghost Of Andy Kaufman
Well at least they’re better than some of YOUR over-the-top and just plain hammy character creations.
@The Ghost Of Andy Kaufman
Listen here you nutbag, i’m sick of you trying to steal my thunder.
I OWN A GUN EVERYBODY HOW DO YOU THINK THIS WILL ALL END?
Your characters all suck nathan!
I gave Andria Herpes everyone.
All your characters suck nathan!
Your characters suck so much nathan!
Nathan all those characters just suck.
All your characters suck. So bad.
I can say your all your characters suck 100%.
All your characters suck or blow whatever.
All your characters are just terrible.
@Jerry Seinfeld
Oh look who’s talking. You’ve hardly played any characters at all – except for your character in Seinfeld – which now thanks to that means you’re just typecast playing yourself. Face it, when you die – you’re going to remembered forever for Seinfeld and absolutely nothing else. Same goes for the rest of the Seinfeld cast including Wayne Knight.
@Martin Short
You’re just saying that because you’re weren’t as funny as all the other SCTV cast members – and you’re probably just jealous because John Candy, Eugene Levy, Joe Flaherty Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis appeared in more comedy sketches then you.
@Chris Rock
I’ve never liked any of your stuff.
@Mike Myers
Oh, you think my characters suck do you? Well some of yours aren’t so great. How about the Cat In The Hat? Or the Love Guru? Do they ring any bells, huh?
@Ricky Gervais
Says you. That’s why i prefer the American version of the office.
@Jerry Seinfeld
You’re the one to talk, you’ve been playing yourself the whole damm time, even in Seinfeld – chances are, that’s the only thing you’re going to be remembered for – same goes for the rest of the cast.
@Robin Williams
You pale in comparison to Jim Carrey, Jim outhams you by a landslide.
@Nathan Fuckmore
Hey, I made it very clear that people from this site and ED are NOT allowed on my blog.
@David Letterman
You should talk, Dave. You’ve never been funny. Jay Leno is better than you.
Your characters all suck nathan.
Signed,
Eugene Levy
Joe Flaherty
Dave Thomas
Rick Moranis
All your characters Suck Nathan.
@Eugene Levy
Says you, Eugene. The only things you’re appearing in nowdays are those American Pie movies, and Joe Flaherty – you haven’t done anything new recently at all.
Rick Moranis – As i recall, you’re semi retired – something about you being typecast as a nerd.
Dave Thomas – You don’t have it so well either.
All your characters SUCK nate.
@Jay Leno
No they don’t, the people on this godamm website are just saying that to annoy me and it’s working. And you should talk, a LOT of our old sketches are basically the same but with different camera effects.
@The Ghost of Andy Kauffman: TL;DR, you’re fired and you’ll be working with Sarah in Nathan’s basement for infinity now.
By the way, Nathan, when will you be handing out the doggy bags of shit you shared with your daddy? I wunt sum.
Wow your characters really suck nathan.
All your characters and songs suck so much nate.
@Eddie Murphy
THIS coming from the guy who played a fat guy and his whole family?
Your characters suck NF!!!!
@Nathan F: Everything on the internets is free game if it isn’t federal and hackworthy, so get over it. If I wanted to take your picture of your johncandy werewolf dude with the hand where his penis should be, and place the arm in the right spot, then you can complain. God forbid that I wreck your perfect pictures!
By the way, when was the last time you checked on Sarah? I heard chains rattling and a window opening down in your basement.
@Jack Black
My characters do not suck neither do my songs. And you should talk Jack, some of your movies weren’t all that great. I would have gladly opted for Battlefield Earth over that stupid mexican wrestling film Nacho Libre.
@Ben Stiller
You’re a good guy too, it’s just…you’re hardly that entertaining at all.
HOW LONGS BEFORE I REALISES I’M NOT GOING TO TALK TO A FAMOUS PERSON ON THIS SITE, DEAD OR ALIVE.
Nathan, you suck. Your daddy on the other hand, makes wonderful milkshakes (with nuts).
@Nathan Fuckmore
No that’s not arm that’s not where his penis is supposed to be you moron.
@Will Ferell
Says you.
I’m sorry dear but all your characters suck.
@Dawn French
Shut up you fat cow.
All your characters suck Nathan. We can’t all be wrong?
Nathan your characters all suck. Please remove your blog, most comedians have refused to work with us because they are so incensed by your shit writing.
@Jim Carrey and all the other fake comedians
Now I know you’re not the real deal, you’re just a bunch of trolls trying to annoy me – well it’s working.
@Nathan Fuckmore
Well in that case, I might just a send a link of this website over to Daniel Tosh of Tosh.0 so he can make fun of YOU GUYS.
@The Nathan F that isn’t me
Shut up.
@Ghost Of John Candy
No, and I don’t trust you at all.
@Lenny Henry
Says you. Your MJ impersonation is nowhere near the real MJ.
@Comic Relief
NO, I will NOT remove my blog just beccause of these fucktards who claim to be comedians claim that my work sucks.
I’m sorry we aren’t interested in the plan you emailed us where “the starving african kids can all suck my dick”.
Please remove your blog and free sarah.
Okay, i know that you’re lot are NOT the real deal – you’re just a bunch of fucktards trying to fuck with my mind – well it’s not going to work, i see through your disguises.
You’re the ones that suck, you lot haven’t done anything good in years.
@Comic Relief
Oh shut up, you’re not the real comic relief. You’re just some dumb troll trying to piss me off. All those other comedians are as well. And i’m not a pedophile or a sex offender and i will NOT remove my blog.
It’s easy to do an MJ impression. Just put a ventriloquist doll next to a heater (so it’s face melts) add a few bottles of beers and make it say “c’mon children i’ll show you what’s dancing in my pants”.
@Nathan F: I had sex, that’s the best thing I’ve done in years. You’re still a virgin, how does that amount up to “GOOD”? LOL
@Why am I Nathan F
And it’s not for people like you.
@Lenny Henry
That’s absolutely nothing like me.
God damn your characters suck!
Let’s make a bunch of fake accounts and join his club for the LULZ.
There is nothing to fear except Bears, Spiders, and Nathan Forresters!
@Stephen Cobert
Oh please. You’re just another dumb troll. You’re not the real Stephen, also you mispelted his last name.
@Nathan Fuckmore Are you kidding me??? I haven’t been a virgin since I was 3 years old. Uh-oh, daddy wants another mudslide! I hope he likes it warm!
@Stephen Colber
Look, there’s a grizzly bear right behind ya.
@Nathan Fuckmore
You better not – or i’ll add them all to my blocklist.
@The Nathan F who isn’t me
Cut it out this instant.
You and your characters suck! Find a new hobby, and keep it secret from the world.
MY CLUB IS ACTUALLY AN ORGIE I’LL HAVE WITH ALL MY MONSTER FRIENDS!
@John Stewart
Go back to making out with your boyfriend Stephen Colbert.
@The Nathan F who isn’t me
No it isn’t.
ACTUALLY MY CLUB IS AN ORGIE I’LL HAVE WITH ALL MY MONSTER FRIENDS AND MY DAD!
@The Nathan F who is NOT me
No it isn’t. Stop trying to portray me as a sex crazed maniac.
God hates you nathan. Please stop engaging in sodomy.
@Westbro Baptist Church
Screw you. You guys are the worst there is when it comes to religion.
Nathan, when the Bible says love thy neighbour, it doesn’t mean let your neighbour rape your ass.
GUESS WHY I WANT TO BECOME A CATHOLIC PRIEST?
I HAVE AIDS EVERYBODY!
@Westbro Bapist Church
I’m NOT gay, i’m NOT a pedo, I am straight. I have never been raped in my life.
@The Nathan F who is not me
Is it because you suck at everything including being me?
@The other nathan f who is not me
I do not have Aids.
I just found a magic orb that can see into the future.
@ Fake Nathan F no I do not buttrape my stuffed toys!
I BUTT RAPE MY STUFFED TOYS!
AND THEN I DONATE THEM TO THE POOR!
@The fake nathan that isn’t me
I don’t buttrape my stuffed toys.
I WONDER HOW MANY TOYS I CAN FIT IN MY ANUS?
@That fake Nathan F
I’d like to shove my foot up your ass.
IT’S SARAH’S BIRTHDAY TOMORROW. I’M GOING TO GIVE HER AIDS!
@Nathan F who is not Nathan F and is hated by the real Nathan F:
Hey, see how many fit in your HOLE….maybe we can make TOY STORY 4!!
I HAVE TO HOP BECAUSE MY FOOT IS STUCK IN DADDY’S ANUS!
I LIKE TOY PORNOS!!!!
DADDY FINDS IT PLEASURABLE.
THE CHARACTER WOODY GIVES ME A WOODY EVERYONE!
CAN I HAZ BUTTRAPE NAO?
That’s it, i’d like to give all the fake Nathan F’s, Habermann, his cronies on here, and all those assholes pretending to be comedians on here a piece of my mind.
I FANTASIZE ABOUT MR AND MRS POTATO HEAD SHARING MY COCK!
I HAVE SEX WITH COLD UNCOOKED CHICKENS
AND THEN DONATE THEM TO THE POOR!
I GET A WOODY THINKING ABOUT BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!!
And I like to fantastise about you, Habermann, and everyone else on here dangling over a volcano and me cutting the rope that prevents you from falling in – resulting in all of you falling into the volcano and being burned to a crisp.
New rule: Nathan F must stop being a fag. If that is possible.
New rule, i am NOT a fag.
But before you burn in the volcano I make you suck my penis repeatedly Habberman.
@The fake Nathan F
No I don’t.
And after habberman falls in the volcano sir Ian dressed as Gandalf says “you’re a delightful little hobbit nathan would you like to suck my magic wand”. And I say yes of course!
I’M MAKE YOU ALL SUCK MY PENIS AND GAG ON GREEN FUR!!!
@The other fake Nathan F
That doesn’t happen.
EVEN THOUGH THE MONSTERS COME OUT OF THE CLOSET I DON’T HAVE THE COURAGE! I BETTER RAPE SARAH BEFORE PEOPLE START THINKING I’M A FAG!
@The fake Nathan F
*holds up a gun to his face* Eat lead.
And I tell Sir Ian “I’m going to fart in your face” and he is like “YOU SHALL NOT PASS WIND!”
ANDRIA GOT TOSSED IN THE VOLCANO TOO! WOE IS ME!!
…HEY…WHERE’S SARAH????
But I fart in his face anyway. I ask him “why are you called sir Ian” and he says “because the queen gave it to me” and I say “BUT QUEENS GIVE IT TO ME EVERY NIGHT?”
*gets out his shotgun, shoots all the Fake Nathan F’s, then shoots all of the trolls pretending to be comedians that are alive, then captures the ghosts of Andy Kaufman and John Candy in his Ghostbusters style ghostcapture device*
I used to be nasty until I turned into a weregrinch. Oh, sorry,
DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS!!!
*turns into weregrinch form and mauls the last of the fake Nathans*
Nathan likes it when I’m furry down there.
*decapitates the fake Andria Kilgore*
OH NATHAAAANNNNN…. IT’S BUTTRAPING TIME!!!!!!
Oh no it’s not… it’s time to die.
*chops Daddy up with an axe*
*defecates on the real Andria Kilgore*
I LIKE TO WATCH NATHAN’S DADDY RAPE HIM IN THE BUTT WHILE I GET RAPED IN THE BUTT!!
You bastard.
*Turns into weregrinch form, leaps into the air, then bites the last fake Nathan f on the arm*
GARSH DARNIT, NATHAN, YOUR DADDY WANTED A BUTTRAPING… NOW IT’S “GOOFY TIME”!
HARDER NATHAN HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UMMMMPPPFFFF!!!!!
MUMMY IS WEARING HER STRAP ON! YAY!
Hey Nathan, did you remember to bring the lubricant, so that you’ll be able to slide out of me this time?
Nathan, did you remember to bring the lubricant, so that you’ll be able to slide out of me this time?
Although it was pretty cool when the firecrew raped us after they extracted you.
Oh look the gerbil escaped and ran across the room!
Sorry I passed out. The smell of cheese is really strong. Are you sure your vagina should smell like that?
We ran out of Cheetos…. Where the hell did the gerbil GO????? NOMNOMNOM
Daddy is doing some home repairs using Andria’s cunny juice.
I’m going to kill each and every one of you assholes.
I STOPPED TAKING MY MEDICATION EVERYONE!
Find you the medication never really worked when you get your stomach pumped for semen as often as I do.
Does anyone think they could make a south park cartoon based on Nathan F’s depraved sex life and quest to ban ED?
I got with Dreamworks and they are making me a really cool deal for my own movie! It’s called “How To Train Your Retard”!
Dreamworks is gonna make me a movie called,
“How To Train Your Retard!”
Then again, I’m a producer (of cum), so I should be making my own movie! HOODEEEDOODEEEEDOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!1111
I’M ALSO GONNA STAR IN THE SEQUEL TO
“THE 40-YEAR OLD VIRGIN”!!!
Remember it is not wise to piss Nathan off, or Bruce will have something to say about it.
Now you are all statues, because I like something to piss on while I am standing outside nude in the morning while rush hour traffic passes me by!
Hey Nathan baby, have you seen that phone number lying around that sez, “Call Me For A Hot Time” that was left by that cute fireman that carried me off of you?
*TWIRLS HAIR AROUND*
You know, you could use a bath. Maybe I should call up one of those firemen to hose you down!!!
He uploaded another eye. XD
Okay, you guys impersonating me have really got to GET OUT of here, you’re not me and you never will be – and those people pretending to be comedians just to get my goat – you should all leave too.
@Anonymous
No, but i’m thinking they should do a south park episode about how gay this website is and how incredibly stupid your so called “almighty leader” Ezekial Habermann is.
I wonder if a grizzly-bear trap baited with donuts and rancid bacon fat would work to catch werejohncandies? I wish that I could catch that little shit in real life so that he won’t put this kind of inane shit on the Internet ever again.
@Midnight Oyl
I’m not a werejohncandy you asshole, i am a weregrinch and i doubt you’d be able to catch me. And my work is NOT inane sit, that’s just something the jerks on here say because they have no real lives.
before you commit suicide please post here saying where your gravesite will be i want to carve ‘werejohncandy’ on your tombstone.
Good one, anonymous.
Wish I could carve “troll”, “liar”, “retard”, “furfag” and “asshole” on there too.
@ANDRIA YES A BUKAKE BATH FROM THOSE FIREMEN WOULD BE GREAT! I COULD ALSO USE A FIREHOSE ENEMA!
I should call the fire department! Yeah, the FIRE DEPARTMENT!!
FIRE! FIRE FIRE!! HE HEH HEH HEH!!
LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I PLAN TO GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS THE BIGGEST TROLL EVAR!!!!
LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I PLAN TO GO DOWN THE MOST IN HISTORY EVAR!!!!!
I told the fire department my crotch is burning. That part is actually true.
Nathan, quit these shenanigans or I’m gonna pop outta this grave and come and stomp your ass. You are not a weregrinch, I never made such an abomination. I only made things that little children could read, not be scared of. You on the other hand, you need to go back to bed and rethink all these bad things you have done to these innocent bystanders.
Also, stop masturbating. Every time someone masturbates, a grinch dies!
That’s because I’m a Ginger with a FIRECROTCH!!!
The ferret up my ass caught fire and the fire department won’t come. Talk about ‘slut who cried wolf’!
NO WONDER I HAVE NEVER SEEN A WEREGRINCH. FAP FAP FAP, FAP FAP FAP. YOU CAN’T STOP THE FAPPING.
I WANTED TO STAR IN PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN 2 BUT EATING PENIS DOES NOT QUALIFY ME TO PLAY A CANNIBAL.
@ DR. SUESS HEY IF INNOCENT PEOPLE DON’T WANT ME FAPPING ON THEM FROM THE ROOFTOP THEY SHOULD BUY UMBRELLAS. FAP FAP FAP, FAPPITY FAP FAP.
@that SERIOUS Nathan: You should take some Valtrex so your sexual frustration will GO AWAY
@Ghost Of Dr Seuss
Au contrare, i am a weregrinch. And for the record, grinches are rather imtimdating – especially the one from the cartoon. But the one from the live action film is simply more impressive – plus he’s got many admirable traits like super strength.
@Ghost Of Dr Seuss
Au contrare, i am a homosexual. And for the record, homosexuls are rather imtimdating – especially the ones from prison. But the ones in my family like daddy are simply more impressive – plus he’s got many admirable traits like super glueing my hand to my penis so I can fap 24/7!
@Nathan F: Oh by the way, Dracoguard says that his female dog is up for grabs if you still need someone to love!
All she nees is love, a backyard, and broccoli!
Nathan, you can come onto my umbrella-ella-ella yeah brella
I hate subliminal messages. Seriously.
I figured out how to use the internet bitch can you say divorce?
MFMHPMGGHHDMGHHHHF (translation: no i has a mouth full of nigger dick)
I IS TYPING ONE HANDED! (GUESS WHY?)
UH I FINISHED ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD BUT HITTING CRTL Z DOESN’T CLEAN UP THE MESS.
Alright that’s it you trolls stop trying to portray me as a sex-crazed maniac i am more of a sex-mad crazy person.
OMG I JOINED A ANTI-TROLL CLUB WHILE I WAS TROLLING!!
I R PROTECTED NOW!!
SUM ONE SAID,”COME HERE” AND I DID, BUT I DID IT WRONG!!!
MUMMY ASKED “ARE YOU COMING WITH ME?” AND I REPLIED “NO NOT YET CAN WE CHANGE POSITIONS?”
SILENCE! THIS HAS GONE FOR LONG ENOUGH. I WANT ALL YOU PATHETIC EXCUSES FOR ME IMPERSONATORS TO LEAVE RIGHT THIS INSTANT.
IF YOU CONTINUE TO DO BAD IMPERSONATORS FOR ME THEN I WILL HAVE TO GO TO THE CHICKEN FACTORY AND MASTURBATE IN THE CHICKENS UNTIL I’M SURE I’VE RUINED YOUR DINNER.
@Fake Nathan f
Cut it out.
DADDY PITCHES AND I CATCH (AND NO WE DON’T PLAY BASEBALL)
@Fake Nathan F
Shut your mouth or i’ll tap it shut.
Did you just threaten to ‘tap’ the fake nathan’s mouth? You’re finally coming out of the closet I see.
@Anonymous
No i didn’t you asswipe, i said tape his mouth shut as in put sticky tape over it so he can’t reply.
just admit it dude you want to tap that, as in stick you tiny insignificant penis in men’s mouths. I mean you’ve had enough practice with your Dad I don’t see the issue.
I WANT TO STICK MY ISP IN ANDRIA’S FIRECROTCH BUT THE FERRET THERE WON’T LET ME!!
Nathan we are very concerned about Sarah, the austistic girl trapped in your basement. Is that cage regulation size?
I IS A WEREJOHNCANDY! A WEREJOHCANDY!
Why do you all keep doing this to me? I have done nothing wrong.
You are a liar and a retard you deserve much worse than this trolling. If you want it to stop then stop posting or kill yourself (the latter is preferred).
I’m not a liar, or a retard – you guys all are. And your “almighty leader” Ezekial Habermann isn’t any better, in fact he’s a cold hearted snake.
EZEKIAL HABERMANN WON’T REPLY TO MY LOVE LETTERS! THAT COLD HEARTED SNAKE!
What? No. I do NOT love Habermann. Habermann doesn’t deserve to be loved, he’s a heartless monster. He’s the Simon Cowell of the internet. He’s ten times worse than Simon.
Hell hath no fury like a werejohncandy scorned.
Fuck me Habberman! You can critique it afterwards! (Daddy usually gives it three thumbs up)
ENOUGH WITH THE WEREJOHNCANDY CRAP, I AM NOT A WEREJC I AM A WEREGRINCH.
Your stories are just awful you stupid werejohncandy fag.
Your stories are just awful you stupid werejohncandy fag.
I LOVE SIMON COWELL BUT HE DOESN’T RESPOND TO MY LOVE LETTERS EITHER!
The only person more desperate to hide their identity than the stig is nathan, who is clearly a sex offender.
Though I hear nathan is pretty good at catching autistic children behind the wheel of a panel van. Impressive driving skills.
Nathan not only are your stories just terrible but so are your animation skills.
I drove across Africa and I never saw anything as fucked up as your life nathan!
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
STOP MAKING FUN OF MEH!!!! LEAVE ME AND ANDRIA AND HER FERRET ALOOOOOONEEEEE!!!!
@Richard Hammond
I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TRY WHAT MR. HANDS DID, ONLY WITH AN ELEPHANT!! MOMMY SAYS MY UNCLE IS REALLY OVERWEIGHT AND HAS A HUGE TRUNK HE WANTS TO SHARE WITH ME!!!!
Okay guys enough with the bad impersonations already.
I could take a elephant trunk or a foot or even a tusk or two.
THE BLACK HOLE IS IN MY ASS AND IT WILL SUCK EVERYTHING IN IT!!
Don’t listen to all those Nathan F’s! Only I am the real Nathan F! ME!!! I HAVE A DILDO COLLECTION!!
Nathan your stories suck so much and it is a joke that you call yourself a scientist. But damn your asshole defies the laws of Physics. Even though I’m an invalid please don’t rape me.
I rape everything I possibly can, including Sarah, dead grandmas, and anything else rendered helpless that has a hole to put my infinastly short penis into!
If i posted youtube videos people wouldn’t be able to impersonate me … pity i’m a convicted sex offender who can’t show his face.
I’m also embarrassed that I am gay for Teletubbies and that I fucked my dead cheesy gramma.
They ran out of food at the funeral, so we broke out the Ritz and ate gramma! She was DEEEEELISSSSHISSSHHHH
I WANT TO GO TO THE OLD FOLKS HOME (YOU CAN GUESS WHY)
I WANT TO FUCK SARAH!! (YOU CAN GUESS WHY)
I WANT TO FUCK GRANMA AGAIN!! (YOU CAN GUESS WHY)
My daily chores:
1. Wake my lazy fat ass outta bed
2. Masturbate
3. Walk the dog
4. Masturbate
5. Watch TV (while I masturbate)
6. Fuck Sarah in the ass
7. While Daddy fucks me in the ass
8. While I fuck Mommy in the ass
9. MASTURBATE (until I fall asleep)
(YOU CAN GUESS WHY)
(YOU CAN GUESS WHY) I AM SUCH A HORNY RETARD!!!
@DG
Best line: “I don’t listen to creeps like you… blah blah… and least of all the pigs”
Lololo. Don’t you be trollin’ this blood art gangsta, or he bust a cap in yo’ ass, nigga. FUCK DA PO-LICE.
PO-PO WANTS A DONUT <3 LOL.
@DG: WOW… Obviously he can't accept "red gold" from you. Maybe I should call him out on it, like, make a deal that I won't try to use blood from some girl's PMSage if he'll stop cutting himself for bloody fucking sake, LOL.
I LIKE TO USE BLOOD BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE I AM ON MY PERIODDDDDD LULZ
CUT MY PENIS WHILE TRYING TO SHAVE MY BALLS, NOW I CAN MAKE MOAR ARTZ!!
@ Muirsheen Durkin i kno rite? “YO YO YO i iz one bad ass mutha i use my own juices to make fucking shit art yo.”
“i like to spew generic fuck the government and the man statements even though i live in suburbia and couldn’t take true anarchy!” lol faggots like that would be first against the wall to be gang raped by the giant mutant biker gangs when society crumbles.
@ Anon hahaha, yeah, do that. i’ll call him on his stupid pseudo-intellectual crap. its funny watching him attempt to be “smrt”
fucking poser. lol
I wish I knew what the fuck was going on
I wish I knew, too. Although I must admit, Nathan is an amusing, albeit sickening, lulzcow.
@DG LOLZ. This site keeps getting better and better drama by the minute. RETARDS, they should know that if they are really that retarded, they need to stay in a pen away from the smarter part of society (e.g., the saner part, actually).
Okay the terrible impersonations of me have got to stop.
@Nathan F: Not until you yourself admit that your whole internet persona is an elaborate hoax, and that you’ve been using it to troll various forums over the course of the years.
Archived posts from “inthe00′s” leave a paper trail pointing to you as a not only an elaborate, but a most certainly obsessive troll, who’s changed his fursona at the drop of a hat before (Switching from “werebelushi” to “werejohncandy” in your attempts to combat bans) in your attempts to annoy their members. One name that caught my eye was “Andria Kilgore”; a member of said board who was actually a victim of your so-called harassment, and who we can only assume who’s name you’ve been using yourself to come to your own defense in recent months. You’ve been clever enough to use a separate static IP for her, but reckless in making sure to turn it off when you return to your Nathan persona.
You honestly had us going for a while, Nathan. I’m sure if I didn’t point it out, the rest of the ED lurkers and Gaiafags here turned “trolls-for-a-day” here would keep on responding to you until the end of time, still wrongfully assuming they’re the ones actually doing the trolling. That’s why I held off on the big reveal for so long: I figured you were having as much fun at their expense as I was.
So before you respond to me under the cloak of your admittedly well-developed character and attempt to dismiss my comment as mere conspiracy, I’d like to congratulate you on a game well-played. You’re always welcome on the forums, Nathan. Who knows? Maybe you’d even so kind as to grace us with some proper out-of-character posting.
My persona is not a hoax, it’s real.
Look Habermann, it’s not an elaborate hoax – it’s for real – get used to it. An as for Andria, she’s my friend and not one of my personalities.
Oh alright i admit it’s all an elaborate hoax, i’m not really a scientist, weregrinch or otherwise i’m just some poor dumb teenager who went trolling around on various forums.
Please stop this insanity, it’s not fair. There I admitted it. Happy now?
All the best lolcows are always trolls, sadly.
And no one but no one insults me by doing bad impersonation of John Candy.
@Habermann
Look i already admitted okay, and i posted that picture you requested on your deviantart page already and provided the link, so please take my ED article down and knock off the crappy impersonations okay.
“IF YOU CONTINUE TO DO BAD IMPERSONATORS FOR ME THEN I WILL HAVE TO GO TO THE CHICKEN FACTORY AND MASTURBATE IN THE CHICKENS UNTIL I’M SURE I’VE RUINED YOUR DINNER.”
I know that’s you Anon.
Ooh nice. Does this person’s blood come in blood lite?
I have something to state about the skull picture. Orange-Socks says in the artist’s comments that he used “Human blood and Indian ink.” Since when were Indian people not humans?
That was a stupid comment, but . . . It doesn’t sound right in my opinion. They should re-phrase it.
It’s called Indian ink because it was invented (presumably) in India.
Ah, true, Mariona. I didn’t think it out carefully.
shelby am a emo