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Decadence-Decay: Juggaho Numero Uno

Today’s article is brought to you by forum poster “Jim81Jim”, and was originally posted in this thread.

Allow me to introduce you to the subject of today’s article: A tartlet who goes by the handle Decadence-Decay. Our little Ms. Decadence – real name Sophia – is a 16 year old girl on dA. Though I suspect that’s not too much of a shock to you when you consider that the entire site is comprised almost entirely of nothing but teenage girls (Or, alternatively, 40 year old men from Tokyo who enjoy wearing panties on their heads, claiming to be 16 year old girls).

Before we begin the article proper, I’d like to ask you – the reader – a question. But before we can even do that, I’m going to need you to take a look at a picture. But before we can do that, I’m going to need you to scroll down the page a bit so you can actually see it.

Good: Now that we have that out of the way we can continue. So, why then have I asked you to look at this self indulgent, Myspace angled, “I’m daddies little princess”, vapid, self-masturbatory photograph of some obviously confused pale bitch? Well, I’m just curious is all. I’m curious to see if I’m the only one out there who finds the idea of her fucking guys dressed up like circus performers completely batshit insane.

I mean when you look at her; when you take a moment to consider that she’s actually somewhat attractive; do you then automatically think to yourself, “Oh hell yeah, I can totally see her riding some clowns cock”? Can you honestly give the idea that she would fuck something like this any credence?

If you’re confused by this point you’re not alone: I am as well. And I don’t mean confused as in, “Hey why do her feet in the above photo look like they belong more to Skeletor than to a teenage girl”. I’m guessing that maybe she doesn’t understand the basics of lighting or maybe she’s like the female version of that dude from the movie Powder. Who knows? But putting that mystery aside I’m talking about the confusion over the fact that this girl, this piece of jail-bate, would actually want to fuck a juggalo.

Jesus, that’s a scary thought. Do you even know what a juggalo is? I mean for fuck sakes they can’t even work out the simple shit like, oh I don’t know, this: FB = q v × B

You see over the last few days, in between my constant masturbation to her photos and my confusion as to why her feet look like they belong to a villain from the He-Man universe, I’ve given this issue a great deal of thought. And yet I’m still left thoroughly dumbstruck. Why would any girl seriously consider a man in make-up desirable? Let alone one who happens to live in a trailer park, beats his sister/lover, exists solely on food stamps, and considers bathing in Red Pop hygienic. I mean that shit just doesn’t make sense. But one look at her photos and it becomes clear that this chick loves getting dicked by the boys from the big top.

Would you look at that? Seriously, what the fuck is she going to tell her kids in 20 years when they come up to her with a photo like this one and ask, “Mommy, why do you look like such a huge faggot”? Off all the types of men someone could be attracted to she chooses juggalo’s? That’s so far below the bottom of the barrel that if she looked up she’d be staring at straight at the asses of furries. Yeah, that’s right, furries are a step up for her. If she were to put on a wolf suit right now and bounce up and down on some dude’s dick while yelping like a puppy I’d actually respect her more. Holy shit, that’s messed up.

Now you may be wondering what makes her special enough to warrant an article. Clearly she isn’t artistic with the majority of her DA account being devoted to vapid self portraits that scream “OMG I heart social networking”. She’s one of those girls that knows she’s attractive and so she takes full advantage of it by posting her pictures everywhere so she can feed off of men’s erections like a lich feeds off fucking misery. But that’s not the reason we’re spotlighting her. Attention whoring women are a dime a dozen on the internet. No, what makes her special is the fact that she is WILLINGLY HAVING SEX WITH JUGGALOS.

Try this. I want you to imagine the worst ethnic stereotype that you can. Maybe it’s a nigger holding a bucket of chicken while he rapes a white woman. Or perhaps it’s an chink with a really tiny cock doing complex algebra problems. Or how about a spic hoping a fence while carrying nothing but cleaning supplies and lawn care equipment. Well those examples are to other races as juggalo’s are to white people. They are our niggers, our chinks, our spics. They’re the counterexample to white supremacy and they can be found in any trailer park across the country. I’d rather have a kerosene enema than be in the same room as an ICP fan.

So what the hell is she thinking? What horrible thing did her father have to do to her that would explain her taste in men. He must have been pulling trains on this bitch since the age of 6 to account for something this screwed up. He probably made her watch as he practiced his woodsmanship with nothing more than a chainsaw and kittens. Because there is no way that this…

results from a normal upbringing. So all I have to say to dad is: Good job. May God have mercy on us all because knowing how teenagers are it’s only a matter of time till she squirts out a litter of mini-ninjas. Once that happens we’ll have even more of the fuckers to deal with. Now if you’ll excuse me I have the strangest urge to go watch some motherfucking He-Man.

I HAVE THE POWER!

Posted by Guest Authors on 09/05/2010

24 Responses to “Decadence-Decay: Juggaho Numero Uno”

  1. Cleo says:

    Oh my god. Girls like that make me embarrassed to have a uterus.

  2. A Good Point says:

    Wow… that last pic is like if a sparkledog was human. My eye literally started hurting from the sheer amount of florescent color

  3. Okay, like nikkissippi121, I know Sophie too, and I will admit she’s very outgoing and bold. But that’s just her. So what is she wears “strange clothes” or whatever. She’s a great person. And have you considered how she feels about you writing a whole article about her, talking about her like the way you did? Like nikkissippi, I’m not trying to start any arguments, I just want to stick up for Sophie.

  4. Anonymous Juggalo says:

    Some girls just have different tastes. Clowns make people laugh, and you know how much chicks dig “funny guys”, maybe she sees that quality. Then again, not all Juggalos paint up unless it’s for a concert or camwhoring(like this little tart does), so maybe it’s something only she can see. But while we’re on the subject, what in the hell do Juggalos have to do with art anyway? Why did you even do this “review” other than a way to hate on a universally-hated subculture? Grow some balls, man. Dream big. Find a challenge. My subculture practically gives the lulz away, and that’s no fun. Work for your lulz, fatty.

    Off topic, how do the reviews work here? I read that you guys “warn” somebody ahead of time, but I’m not sure. If you don’t, then please come tell me if you ever decide to review my “works of art”, because I honestly think your critique style is useful(when you actually have anything resembling criticism about the ART, that is) and I want to laugh at you moralfags who still think dA is anything resembling an art site anymore or can still become a quality art site. Just abandon your pursuit for quality there, nothing worth saving anyway. Not even the “good” art there deserves praise.

    I’m crookedalley on dA, come check out my pieces of shit and then send me a link to your verbal attempts at deconstructing what I already know to be utter shit and simply post for the hell of it. If you can get me to actually improve based on your reviews(and I’ll tell you if you did, because I’m an honest guy), then I will renounce everything I said previously and post a deviation of me declaring myself a flaming faggot and sucking your cocks.

    The game is afoot, boys. Let’s see if you really have any impact on this site whatsoever. What have you to fear? I’m just a clown, after all…

  5. cunt woh runs this site says:

    You are a huge faggot and i will raep yout face

  6. thepope says:

    Yeah, because Myspace is not full of fucking creeps…

    Sophie, what you really need is a tubal ligation.

  7. Nathan Theodore Gabrell says:

    @Sophie 2 Dope (D//D)
    “Being a Juggalo has nothing to do with “wanting to fuck clowns” (though I don’t speak for everyone, haha) it’s a feeling. From music. Being a outsider. Being a weirdo.”

    I need to make a few points here.

    1) Insane Clown Posse can only be classified as music because it has drums, bass, melody and vocals, the rest is a bunch of idiocy embodied into sound and definitely lacks “feeling” or meaning.
    2)If you want to be an “Outsider”, a “Weirdo”, i assume different then the rest of society, some who stands out and isn’t part of the Droned non-thinkers we call the “Mass”. Then why are you following the “Juggalo” Subculture e.g. following a group of people’s looks and interests? That just so happens to be a huge contradiction.

    “talking shit about Juggalos – and we all know that is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT. Not.”

    Then why do you align yourself with a Subculture you know is easily ridiculed with good reason? If you are a masochist there are why better Subcultures and “hobbies” that would be far more rewarding and even more dignifying, for example you could be gay and stand for gay rights or you could become a member of a “S & M” club when you reach the right age.

  8. Mike Litoris says:

    How about all of you back the FUCK off of Sophie? Do you really have nothing better to do with your time than whack your weenies at a picture of a teenage girl? I mean really, how many mental problems do you have to have to pick someone out of the blue to emotionally and sexually harass?

    May I possibly direct you to 4chan, maybe they can teach you to man the fuck up and troll like big boys.

  9. Nathan Theodore Gabrell says:

    @Mike Clitoris

    …..PWHHAHHHAHAHAHHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAHAAHAHAHAAHH

    • Count Cowellula says:

      You are doing it all wrong… it’s MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Put a little umph into it.

  10. Nathan -

    1) By feeling, I mean storyline. Most people don’t get past a bunch of ridiculous lyrics and find something. I do.

    2) I don’t “want” to be an outsider – and I don’t “follow” Juggalos. I do what I want (cue Cartmans voice over here plz) & I just happen to be a Juggalo blah blah motherfucking blah.

    thepope:

    Sure, Myspace is a bunch of fucking creeps. At least it’s not a bunch of wannabe troll bitches like dA is.

  11. Ratty says:

    As a lover of hip hop, clown porn and things done in bad taste, after the longest time I still can’t work out how the fuck ICP do it. I have searched the www far and wide for something worse, but can never do it. Everything about this group is just so perfectly retarded, there just isn’t anything that compares. Even as someone who loves cheese and watches 80′s horror films because they are “so bad they’re good” – I don’t get it. Is it a racism thing? Are ICP just trying to bring the black man down by recruiting white supremicists to make phony record purchases to try and ruin hip hop? It’s not working. But I really seriously want to ask you Sophie, how can you listen to it? What do you like about it? Vulgarity? Done badly. Listen to Necro or something. Dressing up? MF Doom, he wears a mask! And he’s great! “New Skool” shitty beats? Listen to anything on the radio. White rappers? Give Ugly Duckling a try.

    Enlighten me. Yeah, these guys ripped you a new arse in this post, singling you out amongst a sea of equally (many much more) vain and promiscuous teenage girls. I like promiscuous teenage girls. Most of them learn to be more careful about what they do before their vajjies turn to silly putty, and while they’re discovering things, sex addicts like me can feel young again. Praise! I even like this last pic in the raver gear, I used to be a candy kid many moons ago, it’s fun. I get that. But ICP?

  12. Mike Litoris, back again says:

    Yeah, bitch just left me for a juggalo faggot she just met at best buy the other day, who’s like 28 or some shit. After I gave her my heart for a good year. What is written in this article is so true it fucking hurts, and I’m sorry that I ever stood up for that stupid cunt.

    Sophie, I also hope you read this and realize that you fucked up HARD. Your parents just told you that you were allowed to be open with our relationship again and you leave me for some creepy neck beard. Awesome. Go fuck yourself you juggawhore.

  13. Sophie, motherfuckers. says:

    Hey Hallie, U MAD? I’d like to mention that my boyfriend isn’t a juggalo, isn’t twenty eight, and I’ll gladly fuck myself. Thanks!

  14. Ryan says:

    Wow, so i read about a paragraph and that was all i needed to see. The gorgeous girl in these pictures who is currently being slandered online is my amazing girl friend Sophie, and I love her to death. And I have a question. What the fuck is wrong with being a juggalo? So they wear “strange” strange cloths and make up. Anyone ever seen an Alice Cooper show? Fuck that, anyone ever seen a broadway musical? I’m not even going to bother going into the insane amount of detail the “author” has regarding this website, because I have better things to do than argue with my gf’s exs about what a fuck up they are. This is obviously just a sad sad person feeling rejected by their ex lover and now feels the need for some pay pack. You lost bitch, just suck it up and move on. And I’m certainly not going to waste my time reading everyone else’s comments because I don’t care who you people are, and I don’t care what you have to say or what you think. Try getting to know someone before you judge them based on how they look, I really thought humans were past this point by now. Sophie, baby, do your self a favor, don’t read anymore of this bullshit, it’ll just bring you down. Just let this little bitches piss and moan about the differences of other people, and me and you can enjoy being happy together. Fuck em all. I LOVE YOU SOPHIE!!! <3

    • (= w =)7 says:

      You are creepy as fuck and you just met her a few days ago, you fucking pedophile. I hope someone rapes you, HARD.
      You ruined the one thing I loved more than anything, so congrats. You won. You fucked up something perfect, her family finally wanted me to visit, but you fucked it up Ryan. Go jump off of a cliff, you fucking retard pedo faggot.

  15. “How about all of you back the FUCK off of Sophie? Do you really have nothing better to do with your time than whack your weenies at a picture of a teenage girl?”

    “What is written in this article is so true it fucking hurts, and I’m sorry that I ever stood up for that stupid cunt.”

    oh the revelations a good break-up can bring

    also ryan you sound like fucking chris-chan, and i’m not even trying to be funny

  16. Sophie, motherfuckers. says:

    That awkward moment where a diss post on your “art” turns into your ex-girlfriend making a scene. Also, everyone – you sound like a bunch of fucking idiots. And I’m not even trying to be funny.

  17. DJ Jazzy Jeff says:

    I dunna bout u but I has a fetish of having a seizure while poking the hole so I think u is sexy girl keep up the good work

  18. Uncle Phil says:

    -throws out of house-

  19. Lmte says:

    The Insane Clown Posse is the best band ever. I am proud to be the only black juggalo ever.

    Jason Jordan-Stodler
    403-455-6321
    1926 21 Ave NW
    Calgary, AB, CA
    T2M 1M6

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