Today’s article is brought to you by forum poster “Jim81Jim”, and was originally posted in this thread.

Oh deviantART!  You bastion of the incompetent, you safe-haven for the inept.  What absolute wonders your pages hold and what joys there are to be found inside of you.  Why, I can think of no other place online where the arguments of eugenicists are proven right time and time again.  Yes, no other place stands as a better testament to the shining example of the unable being praised for being just that: unable.  Unable to draw, unable to write, unable to dress themselves appropriately for an outing to whatever white trash store is nearby their trailer park.  It seems that no matter where you look on DA you’re bound to run into a person who possess both of the following:

1. A lack of any talent what so ever
2. A massive amount of pageviews

And nowhere is this more evident than on the page of the users “club” We-Love-Sasuke.  With well over 150,000 pageviews it wouldn’t be so far fetched for someone to assume that at least one member of this organization had some sort of talent or an eye for art.  After all what else would explain such a massive audience?  Surely these people must possess some ability at drawing to have earned such recognition.  But sadly this isn’t the case because as I’ve said before, DeviantArt =/= ConceptArt.

So let’s take a look at some of We-Love-Sasuke’s art and allow them the honor of driving the final nail in the coffin for the statement: “People can draw on DeviantArt”.  First up is the group’s Deviant I.D.

WINNER .:New ID:. by ~we-love-sasuke

Well where to begin?  How about with the basics of what a human being looks like?  Yeah that sounds like a good starting point.  Apparently in the world of this tartlet musculature and bone structure is radically different than anywhere else because after taking one look at this picture an sane viewer would have to assume the artist comes from a family of people whose chins have devolved into sharp jagged points.  Probably as an evolutionary response to predators found at their local Wal-Mart.

“Quick mom somebody is in the checkout line with the last discounted box of ho-ho’s.  ATTACK!”

Chins aside, the positions of the characters and the angle that Itachi is portrayed at only lead to more confusion when one tries to understand the physiques of the two characters being drawn.  They come off as almost lopsided and bent rather than a more uniformed or natural body type.  Clearly this only goes to show that alcohol poisoning has taken affect upon the author and made it impossible for them to draw well.  Though this outcome is not entirely their own fault as I hear it is pretty hard to buy decent liquor with a wel-fare check and food stamps.

Sasuke in twilight by ~we-love-sasuke

Who the fuck needs shoulders?  Amirite?  Obviously the Sasuke in this picture doesn’t and that’s a good thing because they’d only get in the way as he relieves himself of the massive shit he clearly is being constipated by in this picture.  You can almost see the pain in his eyes as he tries to push out the enormous turd which is stuck in his ninja loving ass.  While I can’t fault the image for it’s use of color or shading I can for it’s lack of correct anatomical details.  Look closely at his left arm.  It looks like it has been riveted in place rather than attached by some sort of biological bridge such as, Oh I don’t know, a fucking shoulder.

Sasuke Mad by ~we-love-sasuke

Well can you blame him?  For being mad that is.  I’d be mad to if all I had for a neck was a single line from my chin to my chest.  Let alone having a neck, which judging by the way the artist drew this, is thicker than both his thighs combined.  Say it with me kids: ANATOMY 101 is essential for drawing.  Also coloring helps.  Since it’s obvious that the artist didn’t give a shit and left portions of his own work uncolored when clearly they should have been made skin toned and shaded for depth and realism.  150,000 pageviews and this tartlet can’t even be bothered with finishing what they fucking start.

Sasuke….coloured by ~we-love-sasuke

KAMA!  HAMA!  HA….. Oh wait a minute this is Naruto not DBZ so why the fuck does he have that hair style?  Is the back of his head so swollen that it’s reshaped his skull?  It’s probably from that massive shit he took earlier.  He did look pretty constipated after all.

Sasuke Staring by ~we-love-sasuke

So you know what I’m looking at?  That’s impressive I mean how did this tartlet know I was staring at this poor excuse for coloring they used when drawing this pile of shit.  Crayola crayons are great and all but eventually we all leave kindergarten and move on to the big kid coloring tools.  What’s next finger paint Naruto?  Or better yet how about play doh Itachi.  And I’d comment on the lack of anatomical accuracy again but you can only beat a dead horse so many times until that fucker is glue.

Summation

This is to all the parents out there.  You love your kids right?  They’re the world to you aren’t they?  You want them to be happy and to grow up to do anything they set their minds to.  Well guess what?  They fucking won’t.  Your kid isn’t going to be president, hell they probably won’t even be the head burger flipper at McDonalds and do you know why?  Because early in their childhood when they came home from school one day with a god awful piece of crap picture that they shit out during art period you praised them for it.  You put that fucker on the fridge and said good job.  It’s your fault.

That’s why people like this tartlet exist.  Because their parents didn’t say, “Holy crap that’s awful, you’re grounded”.  If parents did that more kids would have a better shot in life.  They’d spend less time on pursuits they’ll never excel at and potentially find one they do well in.  And that new success they find will be because you choose to put that picture in the trash instead of on the fridge.  Now that’s good parenting.